However, last night I made a curry that tasted SO good I had to stop myself from finishing the pot, and now I’m rethinking my spice mix.

Specifically, I’ve always been a very conservative garam masala user – just a dash or quarter teaspoon added toward the end of cooking. The recipe for last night’s curry (a lamb Rogan Josh found after investigoogling) called for three (3!) teaspoons of garam masala. I’d never made a Rogan Josh before so decided to trust the web recommendation and put a whole two (yes, 2!) teaspoons in my curry. And, I put it in with the other spices at the beginning. I tell you, there was much change afoot in the C’ran Country Kitchen last night. The other thing I did differently was cook it extra long (60 to 90 minutes) with the yoghurt in.

So here be the easiest, tastiest lamb curry – inspired by the Lamb Rogan Josh at the blog, Route 79.

1 onion

2 cloves garlic

500g lamb (leftovers was my choice but you can get fancy and buy fresh) chopped into 2cm pieces (or however you prefer it)

oil

half tsp salt

1 tsp turmeric

2 tsp garam masala

2 tsp ground coriander

2 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp chilli powder

1 tin tomatoes (diced)

2 tblsp yoghurt

Cooking this curry is too easy.

In a medium pot, dry fry the spices and set aside. If you’re using fresh lamb, then you probably want to brown it first. (Leftover lamb can be thrown in later). Remove browned lamb and set aside. Add a little oil, fry the onion and garlic until soft. Throw the spices back in – making sure to keep it moving so they don’t burn. When it’s all getting nice and fragrant, throw the lamb in and coat with the spice/onion mix. Throw in the chopped tomatoes. Let it cook for a couple of minutes and then add the yoghurt. Mix it all up, bring to simmer, cover and cook on low heat for 90 minutes. Be sure to check every 30 minutes and add more water if necessary. As I was using cooked lamb, I only cooked for 60 minutes or so and then let it sit for the next 30 minutes.

Taste and adjust seasoning. Throw in some chopped coriander and serve with steamed rice.

You can check out the original recipe (I’ve made a couple of changes) over at Route 79. There’s also a whole swag of other Indian recipes there that I’d love to try. Mutter Paneer? Lamb Biryani? And I’m just a tad curious about Indian style KFC!

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In a bold move, Jane put the offer out to her fans that if they could find 30 people who were willing to pay $30 each, then she’d turn up and perform in their lounge room. At the time of writing, over 80 Salons have been scheduled.

The Salon tour is all part of her reassessing how music and money can co-exist, side-stepping the cookie-cutter machine that is the music industry to bring music and community back to the people.

When I heard of this concept, I knew I had to go. I love it when people create their own ways of being in the world and this kind of thinking and approach is much needed in the music industry – an industry that makes billions of dollars out of talent, while the majority of musicians are working multiple jobs to support their creative endeavours.

It has been a few years since I’d even heard a Jane Siberry track. However, I knew her album, When I Was A Boy, inside out when I was an angsty, love-lorn twenty-something. I was confident that no matter what direction she’d gone in the last 15 years, I was sure to appreciate her immense talent.

It was only as I began the two hour drive to Brisbane that I reacquainted myself with her music. Its impact on me was immediate. I WAS an angsty, love-lorn twenty-something again. The feelings came back instantly. I even remembered some of the words – which would come in handy later in the evening.

So you could say I was well and truly primed when I arrived at the Brisbane Salon. James Lees and Silver Sircus were the hosting Jane’s performance in the lounge of James’ inner Brisbane Queenslander. There was something very apt about this setting. Not only is a Queenslander the ubiquitous Brisbane house – wooden floorboards, windows open and verandah around to quell the summer heat – but being back in that environment was like coming home. Much of my Brisbane life was lived in these houses and their high-ceilinged lounge rooms and verandahs remind me of happy times with many friends.

I was pretty apprehensive about attending, as Caro was sick and I was going alone. I had no need to worry though, as James was the perfect host and because it was a small gathering, most people were happy to chat.

James and Lucinda Shaw, performing as Silver Sircus, opened the night with three songs. When Lucinda began singing, I was again transported back almost 20 years, watching her performing in a cafe in New Farm. I remembered what it meant to me in the early 1990s to hear her sing so lovingly and cheekily of a queer Brisbane life.

Tonight, she mentions that she is nervous to be singing in front of so many friends but the nerves do not detract from the performance. If anything, they enhance it. I get that this is important. Plus, Lucinda and James have become such wonderful multi-talented musicians that you don’t realise that it’s a drummer (James) and a vocalist (Lucinda) stepping out of their roles by providing piano and guitar accompaniment.

When Jane emerges from the Salon’s green room (ie the kitchen) we are ready for the journey she will take us on for the next two hours. She weaves stories of humanity through spoken word, song and music – accompanied by piano, guitar, and trusty ipod. She is captivating. Stories of pain, love and hope that transport you to the villages she’s already visited in her almost 30 year career – whether it be listening (really listening) to kids in a bus shelter in Britain or greeting the locals in her native Toronto. She speaks of energy and oneness and relationships getting to the heart of our human experience – to love, to connect, to see and bring out the beauty in us all. By the time the encore arrives and the whole room is singing (in harmony!) the chorus of Calling All Angels, I don’t just have shivers up my spine, I have shivers through my whole body.

Like a magician, Jane Siberry has transported us to this beautiful place (which is where we always were anyway – we just didn’t see it). I’ve been to many gigs where I’ve been moved, where I’ve felt one with the crowd and performers, but very few have challenged my thinking and cajoled my senses like this one.

It’s love and sustainability in action – through music and performance. It’s connecting with the people directly – not through profit hungry middlepeople. It made me think about all the ways I could be living love and connecting with the people who need what I do. If how we want to live doesn’t exist, or if the current system doesn’t work, then we have the power to change it, to create it anew. Or perhaps create it a-old?

The whole Jane Siberry Brisbane Salon has made think. And feel. And dream.

And from that place, I am alive.

Love IS everything.

Related posts:

1. Quantum love and the essence of life
2. Working toward higher goals. Sharing the love. Happy V day.
3. Valentine tune: You + Me = Love by Undisputed Truth

• The week begins with a hissy-fit meltdown brought on by neglect of self-care. Mucho meditation later, all is good.
• Diary is covered with red dots (clients)
• Invitation to do retreats
• Invitation to lecture in South America
• An article I wrote a year ago gets published in Sydney’s Daily Telegraph
• I get interviewed about said article on radio 2UE
• Confab conference line falls over – 2 hours of rescheduling and re-writing guidelines for new system
• Frabulous movie night catchup with the girls (always better when wearing 3d glasses)
• Ping pong and drinkies with the noosa chicks (perhaps 3d glasses may have improved my game)
• Much laughter
• Lots of great wine

And, now, ready to start again…

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1. This (Blogless) Life

Quantum love and the essence of life

I’ve never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day. Like so many other days that are deemed significant in our culture, it’s one that rattles me as perpetuating so many heteronormative myths and being nothing more than a cheap consumer charade. (Tee-hee. I’ve been itching to use ‘heteronormative’ for ages!)

What that means is that, no, unlike the ever-popular Lisa Simpson, I never received the “choo-choo-choose me” Valentine’s cards from secret admirers as a child (or teenager, or adult, for that matter). Granted, I never gave anyone a card either, but hey, at age seven I was yet to discover feminism or The Secret.

Feeling unloved is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. And I don’t think I was alone in feeling exceptionally unloved on Valentine’s Day. So why participate in a cultural event that ends up just spreading the non-love?

But here I am, a pathetic, hypocrite of an adult, quite happy to be swept along in this folly of romantic love.  On Valentine’s eve, I went searching for a special ‘love’-themed positive tune to post on this site and my V day plans include a special dinner with my love. (No, not the cat. Nooo, not my sMacBook. The other one – with two legs.) Actually, my enthusiasm for tunes of love and celebrating the day is probably more to do with “will use any excuse to eat wonderful food, guzzle champagne and dance around the house to cheesy music”.

It is true, though, that I’m a big sucker for love. In fact, it is my one value or guiding principle that has not changed over the years. For me it’s like the ultimate truth, the only reason we’re here, the singular essence of life: To live with love. And to isolate that to one day of the year just seems ridiculous.

In fact, my love attraction is so strong that whenever I’m making a tough decision, it only takes a Marianne-Williamson-moment for me to work out what I need to do. You see, I just ask myself, “What would love do?”

Now as I drag myself out from under my rock of new-age shame, let me explain why this works for me. Like so many popular songs have suggested, the world needs a lot more love. The alternative is living with fear, and although I’m pretty skilled at that, after years of giving the fear-based-life gig a red-hot go, I’d have to rate it as a pretty ineffective strategy for achieving quality of life.

So what is it about living with love that makes life a whole lot more worthwhile?

A recent paper in the journal NeuroQuantology by Antonella Vannini and Ulisse Di Corpo attempts to explain the life-giving power of love in terms of quantum mechanics.

In their paper, Retrocausality and the Healing Power of Love, Vannini and Di Corpo draw on the work of early 20^th century mathematician, Luigi Fantappie, and suggest that there are two competing laws at play that regulate our material needs (such as food, water, shelter, etc) – the law of entropy (waves diverging) and the law of syntropy (waves converging).  Due to entropy we are always replacing lost energy through food and water, or minimising loss through shelter. Syntropy, on the other hand, is the law that sustains life. According to Fantappie, who gave syntropy its name,

“The law of life is not the law of hate, the law of force, or the law of mechanical causes; this is the law of non-life, the law of death, the law of entropy; the law which dominates life is the law of finalities, the law of cooperation towards goals which are always higher, and this is true also for the lowest forms of life. In humans this law takes the form of love.”

If we’re serious about sustaining life, then we have to “be like the atoms” and encourage convergence of energy. That is, work together toward higher goals and share the love. It also means that instead of always making rational, head-based decisions based on certainty (or our illusion thereof), we make heart-based decisions.  In true quantum physics style, they also contend that the future determines the past (retro-causality is the inverse of causality where past events causes future events).

So when we have feelings we just can’t rationalise, like when we feel anticipation, it is the future sending us a message. And so in acting on our feelings, living with our heart, our future is determining our past.

Yup. [Back away slowly from the crazy lady…]

There’s more to the theory than that, as it deals with identity and meaning and how we connect with the environment. But I thought the stuff about love being the essential law of life was pretty neat – and way better than a tacky card and a hastily-bought box of chocolates.

I also like the theory because there’s a bit of a Taoist dichotomous balance thing going on as well; love and hate paradoxically co-exist, and the redress of hate or force is love. It also gives me insight into one of other great paradoxes of love, which was the fabulous opening line (and theme) of Jeanette Winterson’s Written on the Body:

Why is the measure of love loss?

Why do we not realise how much something, or someone, means to us until it has gone? That only through absence do we recognise what we truly have. By their very nature, love and loss co-exist.

If you want a brain-melt trip into the edges of research, you can read the full paper here.

And my Valentine’s wish?  I hope all your days are filled with love.

POST SCRIPT: I was so chuffed when I published this piece last year to receive the comment “Beautiful” from the authors of the quantum love paper. A simple acknowledgment can mean so much.

This piece was first published 14 February 2009.

Related posts:

1. Quantum love and the essence of life
2. How people change: Working with the stages and processes of change
3. Love is everything: Jane Siberry and the art of being human

1. Being a loving partner – still so much to learn…

2. Write – about everything. Share what inspires me, what I’m passionate about, what it means to be a human now.

3. Develop work that I enjoy, work that represents my values and strengths. Allowing my projects to be all that they can be.

4. Healthy, strong, flexible body – its going to make the rest of my life possible

5. Friends – laughter, lightness, connection

6. Family – more laughter, support, presence

7. Bibliocoach project – changing the world one book at a time (a backburner project that needs moving to a front burner)

8. Create – see, feel, hear the colour, the beauty and life through painting, photography, music.

9. Tao – be in tune with the way. Understand it. Talk about it. Write about it.

10. Make our house a home – surround myself with beauty, inspiration, create a sanctuary.

11. Be mindful – whether through meditation or other practice, finding that peace and stillness that keeps all in flow.

Yeah, it’s 11 but that’s the other part of 2010, not being limited by arbitrary criteria. The point of the activity isn’t to get 10 priorities but to stretch myself to think of at least 10, or narrow my list of 100 ToDos down to a Top 10. 11 is good enough.

So I invite you to take some time to reflect on your own hopes, dreams and possibilities – for your life, for your work, for the world. What are your Ten for 2010?

And if you’d like, come share them at Confab on Wednesday 20 January. Details below…

WORK/LIFE DESIGN CONFAB

WEDNESDAY, 20 JANUARY 2010

6.30PM – 7.30PM (QLD TIME) / 7.30PM – 8.30PM (NSW/VIC TIME)

THIS MONTH’S THEME: A new year. Resolution or (r)evolution? Hopes, dreams, 2010 … and how to make it all happen.

WHERE: Skype/phone

RSVP: trish@worklifedesign.com.au

Confab is where we get together to share ideas, wins, challenges and support each other.

Confabs are an ideal space to bring your big questions (and little queries), to bounce ideas off others who may have been in the same situation or making similar decisions to you. You’ll get time to talk about what’s going on in your work and life (if you wish) as well as contribute to the monthly theme and resource pool.

Confabs are conducted by teleconference – so you are able to join in where ever you are in the world.

This article first appeared in the January 2010 edition of Design Notes, the newsletter of the Work/Life Design Program. You can find out more about Design Notes and the WLD Program at www.worklifedesign.com.au

Related posts:

1. A new year. Hopes. Dreams. Possibilities.
2. This (Blogless) Life
3. What is your gift?

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of spaciousness as it’s in those spaces that new ideas form, that we can shake ourselves out of automatic routines and ask “Is this really how I want to live my life?”

If we follow the seasons (climate and culture) then January presents itself as a natural month for reflection. Fortunately all this balmy weather and freedom coincides with another cultural reflection time – the new year. I’ve written elsewhere about new year resolutions and how they aren’t really the most effective strategy for long-term change. Resolving, or making that decision, to do or see things differently is an important step in change, but it’s not the only one. There’s usually a whole lot of action that comes after it – which is sort of the opposite of how I like to live out my January.

My January is about thinking big, having dreams, reconnecting with the things I’m passionate about and care about. It’s about remembering that for me, a life lived in mediocrity is a life half lived. From these big ideas the plan flows, even if it’s just the next step I have to take. It’s clear.

This article first appeared in the January 2010 edition of Design Notes, the newsletter of the Work/Life Design Program. You can find out more about Design Notes and the WLD Program at www.worklifedesign.com.au

Related posts:

1. Ditched the new year resolutions? Set goals that get results in 2010
2. My Ten for (20)10: Priorities for a life well lived.
3. Finding meaning and joy beyond the hype of the festive season

REFLECTING ON 2009

December is the time of year when we reflect on the previous 12 months. It’s a time to acknowledge what we’ve achieved and what we’ve learned, to celebrate, to let go of that which no longer serves us, and identify the knowledge and peace of mind to move into a new year with wisdom, hope and enthusiasm.

What have I learned this year? What’s worked? What hasn’t worked?

The year of Twitter Less is more. It’s been the year of Twitter – a world of instant gratification, news and encapsulating life in 140 characters. I’ve, um, quite enjoyed it and look forward to seeing how it evolves.

The year of Needs What do people need? This is the question that’s driven me (and my work) this year. The financial crisis may have been reportedly ‘bad’, but I think it stripped away a lot of bloated artifice of modern life and many got to consider what was really important.

The year of Hair Samson was onto something. For the first time in 20 years I let my hair grow out. It was weird. It was also nice to not get tapped on the shoulder and told that I’d mistakenly entered the ladies toilets.

The year of 40 “Don’t ever worry about the numbers” is what my 83-year-old mother told me on my birthday this year. 40 came with so many expectations, it passed and I got on with life. I quite like it now.

The year of Noosa Women Possibly the most successful thing I’ve done in my life – this vibrant, emerging group gives me so much joy. I searched so long for ‘my people’; little realising that I just had to stand up and ask them to join me.

What did I learn from what didn’t work?

Write for myself And get an editor. Early in the year I started writing for others (rather than myself). The tone, enthusiasm and quality of my writing bottomed out and I’d fairly much stopped writing by the middle of the year. Not really great when one of my 2009 goals was to shift from coaching to writing as my main work.

A longer version of this article first appeared in the December 2009 edition of Design Notes, the newsletter of the Work/Life Design Program. You can find out more about Design Notes and the WLD Program at www.worklifedesign.com.au

POST-SCRIPT TO REFLECTING ON 2009

31 DECEMBER 2009

Since writing the above article, I’ve done a wee bit more reflecting and, probably more importantly, I’ve spoken with many people – friends, family, colleagues, clients, the lady in the fruit shop – about 2009.

Allowing the fallow times

What became clear to me as I spoke about the year was how it emerged as my ‘fallow’ year. I wasn’t singularly focused on achieving things, I just took them as they came and hopefully made the best of the opportunities that came my way. I can understand why I did this – 2008 was very intense and I was wanting to move in a new direction – but it only really made sense in retrospect.

Things that happened when I wasn’t looking

I was looking through my notebooks and journals yesterday while preparing an article on new year resolutions and came across references to some other things that I wanted to bring into my life in 2009.

Women’s Film Club One thing I wanted was to start some sort of local women’s film club. Tick. Actually, double tick if you include me finally joining Cinema Pomona – which is full of family.

“Win a Big Ass TV” Another thing on my list for 2009 was “Win a big ass TV”. I’ve always wanted a BATV but have never been able to justify buying one. So I thought winning one would absolve me of any responsibility of contributing to the global destruction of rainforests, um, etc. While I did not win any BATVs this year, I was given one. (Thanks Karen!) Actually, two. (Thanks Tan & Gretch!) It could have been three if I had found six burly blokes and a ute (not something I’m used to looking for every day). So there you go, a double tick for the BATV and a reminder that sometimes you just need to ask the universe for a big ass TV and she delivers – in triplicate.

Now I’m starting to sound like The Secret, so I will stop there.

[Oh, and Caro has advised me to put in a little note here informing you that I only came to possess two BATVs because one of them stopped working after we hauled its 5-tonne ass into the house. If you would like a decorative (read: non-working) BATV, please let me know.]

Nine None for 09? I was also surprised to find many references in my notes around this time last year to my “Nine for 09” (ie nine priorities for 2009) but I couldn’t find any such list. Imagine what the year would have been like if I’d actually put nine things out there?! So this year I’m doing my Ten For 10. Catchy huh? Actually it’s now at 11 for 10 because I keep thinking of “essentials for 2010”. As Simplicity is one of my priorities for 2010, I just need to whittle the list down to 10 for its framed version on the wall. [Yes, this is where you back away slowly from the crazy lady ... Hey, it works for me.]

Just a couple more year end questions and I’ll feel ready to move on

I’ve also just received a copy of David Allen’s End Of Year reflection questions. Okay, I don’t get as excited as some by his Getting Things Done approach but he’s a savvy guy and I like these…

After reviewing your 2009, name:

Your biggest triumph?

Smartest decision?

One word that sums up your year?

Greatest lesson learned?

Most loving service performed?

Biggest piece of unfinished business?

Most happy about completing?

Three people who had the greatest impact on your life?

Biggest risk?

Biggest surprise?

Most improved relationship?

The compliment you would have liked to receive?

The compliment you would have liked to given?

What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2009?

[Source: David Allen]

He’s also got some neat 2010 planning questions that you can check out at the original post.

And, the last word on 2009, I swear…

I’ve found the shift in Facebook statuses (from doom-and-gloom-the-world-is-fucked to woo-hoo-bring-on-2010) over the last few days fascinating, as people start (literally) looking forward to 2010.

Hmmm. Imagine how different life could be if we let our positive futures inspire us everyday.

Happy new year all. See you in 2010.

Related posts:

1. A new year. Hopes. Dreams. Possibilities.
2. My Ten for (20)10: Priorities for a life well lived.
3. Finding meaning and joy beyond the hype of the festive season

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Do I make sparkly tinsel hats OR reindeer antlers for the cats?

Do I venture to the outer burbs of Brisbane to share a meal with my family OR fly to Sydney to feast with my friends?

Christmas for me is about choices. That last choice has become easier in recent years as my parents have gotten older and I have become more accepting of difference (of the conventional kind).

Actually most of the choices that bring on the headaches at this time of year are much simpler. Life is much simpler and free. I don’t have to believe or adhere to any particular religious doctrine. I feel no need to over-consume. I don’t need to myself into debt by giving material gifts. I don’t need to play happy families.

I can have my own beliefs and values and make the day and the season whatever is important to me.

So whether you choose to celebrate Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Santa Claus, Solstice or None Of The Above, I hope you too have choices in the hot days of December.

This article first appeared in Design Notes, the newsletter of the Work/Life Design Program. You can find out more about Design Notes and the WLD Program at www.worklifedesign.com.au

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1. What is your gift?
2. Finding meaning and joy beyond the hype of the festive season
3. The natural seasons of business

Most of us do want to belong.

The values the season purports to represent – joy, peace, love, goodwill – are things I definitely want in my life. But I am still unsettled by the way it’s all played out. For many years I resisted Christmas. It represented everything that I didn’t want – mass consumption of gifts and food, spending time with people I had little in common with and didn’t accept me for who I was, and having to play along with the illusion of happy families to keep the peace.

Early in this decade, as I began to re-examine my life and what was important, I looked for, and found, the good in the season. Those values I wanted everyday in my life were buried under some leftover gift wrap and a half-eaten piece of pudding (complete with brandy custard).

I looked to see what others got out of Christmas. Why do people go to extraordinary effort to make this day happen? There was the ritual of it – suddenly everyone knew what was expected. Crackers on the left and Santa serviettes on the right. There was the coming together of people who usually didn’t come together, there was the opportunity to show your love and give gifts to those you cared for, there was the affirmation of deeply ingrained religious beliefs that it was all alright. The saviour had come.

Intellectually, I got it. I understood why people would run about like headless chooks to get the perfect gift or perfect glaze. I understood the symbolism and hope of a saviour – that brought joy, peace, love and goodwill too.

Christmas became a cultural experience for me where I ventured into a different land. A land I was quite familiar with, as I knew the customs and rituals, but I saw it with new eyes.

With these new eyes I marvel at the sheer amount of food prepared and consumed. It fills me with joy that I can live in a time and place of such abundance (as I’m acutely aware that my everyday life does not include such feasts). But this overflowing isn’t due to affluence, it’s the result of everyone bringing one thing to the table – literally.

So, as we move into the second half of December, I’m wondering what we can glean from this time of year? What’s so very important to us that our culture virtually stops (commercially anyway) to celebrate it?

This article first appeared in the December 2009 edition of Design Notes, the newsletter of the Work/Life Design Program. You can find out more about Design Notes and the WLD Program at www.worklifedesign.com.au

Related posts:

1. What is your gift?
2. One hot day in December
3. The silly season begins …