Well, I’m letting go of the private practice bit of it anyway … and re-embracing my first true love, books (… with coaching). Complicated? Yes. But no. Because it just means I’m letting go of things I no longer need. Things that others may find useful. It’s like a professional spring clean… (Hooray for spring!)

I spent most of August letting go of my clients. Now, I feel the need to let go of my baby ebook.

OMG! What am I doing with my life? The DIY Guide to creating a life and work you love is a short introduction (with a very long title, admittedly) to sorting out what it is you exactly want out of life. Complete with exercises that will get you on your way.

This little book has had so many lives. It started as an ebook for the Centre for Human Potential, then became a self-coaching course, then a promo ebook for my worklifedesign website. Now it’s for you my friends. Please use it to create a life you love.

Related posts:

1. This (Blogless) Life
2. How people change: Working with the stages and processes of change
3. Ditched the new year resolutions? Set goals that get results in 2010

The article, from the September 1992 edition of American Psychologist, was entitled “In Search of How People Change” and was written by James Prochaska, Carol DiClemente and John Norcross. In it, Prochaska and friends outline their “stages of change model” which has become de rigeur knowledge for change agents over the past 20 years. Based on their work in the field of addiction, the model proposes five stages that people go through when changing.

1. Pre-contemplation – where we see no problem with our behaviour or situation, and consequently have very little motivation to change
2. Contemplation – where we are thinking about change, maybe wondering what’s possible, checking out options but not acting on it
3. Preparation – where we seriously consider what needs to be done to bring about change
4. Action – where we do what’s needed to change
5. Maintenance – where we monitor and adjust our behaviour so that the change is sustained.

The Stages of Change are quite well known and often used as justification for why the cliche “a person has to be ready to change” is wheeled out when someone is resistant to change.

A less known part of the model is how it can inform the processes of change. Processes can range from consciousness raising and self-evaluation to helping relationships and stimulus control. Different processes help people move through the different stages.

For example, if you’re in Pre-Contemplation about your health, you’re quite happy to chow down at the greasy spoon for lunch everyday and not see it as a problem. But when you receive feedback from your GP (consciousness raising) that your cholesterol levels are above average, you may move into the Contemplation stage of “Maybe I should do something about my diet to improve my health?”.

It’s interesting but I’ve never read any coaching literature that explores what processes we use in relation to the stages. It’s probably because most of the people we work with are at the Preparation or Action stages and our processes help people get into action (and to a lesser degree, maintain change). I’ve been wondering how much better coaching could be if we gave more attention to what we could do in the other stages.

Revisiting Prochaska et al’s model has really opened my mind in relation to what’s possible with helping people change. I find this the mark of great research: it doesn’t just tell us how things are but invites us to explore what we can do with this knowledge.

The article is quite accessible and I’d invite you to read it for yourself and reflect on what it means for your own change or in working with those going through change. I’ve put a copy of it in the Studio.

This article was first published in the March edition of Design Notes, the newsletter of the Work/Life Design program.

Related posts:

1. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session: Part 4. Applications for Coaching Practice
2. Career Change: Designing my new brilliant career
3. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 2: The Selling of Coaching

• The week begins with a hissy-fit meltdown brought on by neglect of self-care. Mucho meditation later, all is good.
• Diary is covered with red dots (clients)
• Invitation to do retreats
• Invitation to lecture in South America
• An article I wrote a year ago gets published in Sydney’s Daily Telegraph
• I get interviewed about said article on radio 2UE
• Confab conference line falls over – 2 hours of rescheduling and re-writing guidelines for new system
• Frabulous movie night catchup with the girls (always better when wearing 3d glasses)
• Ping pong and drinkies with the noosa chicks (perhaps 3d glasses may have improved my game)
• Much laughter
• Lots of great wine

And, now, ready to start again…

Related posts:

1. This (Blogless) Life

As a coach, I’ve achieved most of what I set out to do – except when it comes to keeping New Year resolutions. I still have my written resolution to learn the guitar in 2006 somewhere. It’s probably near the guitar I never learned to play.

And apparently I’m not alone. According to research in the US, only 15 to 20 percent of people achieve what they set out to do on January 1. In terms of strategies, I’d say this one isn’t very effective. And yet every year most of us participate in a ritual that routinely makes us feel like we’re failures.

You see, New Year resolutions don’t take into account how we change. We blindly believe that just by saying it (“Lose weight”, “Stop smoking”, etc) we will make it so on January 1. Our conscious thoughts can be powerful things, but they usually need a little help. When we make New Year Resolutions, we usually make them too vague (“lose weight”, but how much and how?), too negative (“I’m going to stop dating lying bastards like I’ve done the past five years”) and too overwhelming (“I want a hot body, hot partner, fame and a six-month round the world holiday”).

Just to make it harder, we joke about how long our resolutions will last and how spectacularly we will fail at them. Imagine if we treated our big life choices the way we treated our resolutions (“Yeah, I just got into uni; but I’ll probably fail, drop out, end up homeless and with a massive HECS debt”).

Now, don’t get me wrong; I think the beginning of a new year is a fine time to sit down and take stock of where we are in our lives, acknowledge the great things that have happened in the previous 12 months, perhaps give some consideration to how we’d do things differently if faced with some of the choices that gave us grief, and ask the question: What do I really want?

But if you’re really interested in changing some part of your life – and this time you want it to actually happen – then I challenge you to ditch the resolutions and start setting some goals.

What’s the difference between goals and resolutions?

Goals are about action and tangible results

You can say you want to make a million bucks this year, but until you get off the couch and do something, then it probably ain’t going to happen. Goals describe what you will be doing when you have achieved your intention – often quite specifically in a way that can be measured. You will be left with no doubt whether you attained it or not.

Goals have feedback built into them

You need to know if you are on track, or whether you need to change your strategy. And often the best way to do this is through the goal having a measurable component (such as “I will be exercising for 40 minutes a day, 3 days a week”) or even having people you can ask “Do you think this looks right?”

Goals create a path of “least resistance”

Goals have followup, support structures and excitement built into them so that you can actually achieve them. They acknowledge and work with the “path of least resistance”, which is your “natural” way of doing things. You thus encounter fewer obstacles. And goals have a support structure that pulls you toward them. This may be the way you structure your day or prioritise or it may be having people around you to encourage you as you make changes.

Goals are short-term, long-term and changing

Your goals will be with you for the entire 12 months. You will be visiting them regularly (sometimes daily, at least monthly) to see whether you’re still on track. Shock of all horrors, they may actually change over that twelve months as you realise that you didn’t really want to be a doctor anymore and joined the Sea Shepherds instead.

Goals challenge you

Goals are challenging (just out of your reach) but also not too far so you always have the belief that you can achieve it. Goals acknowledge what you’ve got to learn along the way. So you may have a long-term goal of finding a partner who you love to be with, but perhaps before that happens you’ll need to address your confidence in meeting new people generally.

Goals keep you in motion

Goals build your confidence by gradually moving you toward what you want rather than the ‘sink or swim’ approach. They acknowledge where you’re at, your skills, your beliefs and what really has to change. They are ongoing. You revisit them every week, every month and they change and grow with you.

Don’t set yourself up for failure in 2010 by talking about resolutions you know you’ll give up on after two weeks of suffering. Bring what you really want to life right now by setting some goals.

10 tips for achieving your goals in 2010

1. Ask yourself: Is this what I really want?

Your goals reflect your values and what’s most important to you in life. If you’re on holidays and would just like to feel this relaxed all the time, then perhaps it’s time to look at the work you’re doing or the way you are spending your working hours and ask “Is this what I really want to be doing? Is this what I really want to be doing in 12 months, 5 years, or 20 years? Do I need to change careers or change something about the way I work, or do I need to change myself?”

2. Be specific

Goals are specific and tend to be something you can measure (so you know when you get there). When you set goals for yourself – not your partner, your mother or your boss – you get the payoff everytime. Goals have a time-frame so you know when and if and what you’ve got to do to achieve them this month or this year.

3. Be bold

Confidence is the number one thing I work with people on. Even those who seem so sure of themselves in public have times of doubt. That’s healthy and part of who we are and how we process things; we’re looking for threats that impact on our safety and security. But most of the things we fear aren’t real. We are wonderfully resilient creatures, and it is only through putting ourselves in new situations that we learn and grow and find out that what we feared wasn’t as bad as we imagined. Public speaking, for example, can be an exhilarating experience.

4. Be positive

Goals that work are positive and things that you want rather than don’t want. For example, you may wish to leave your job, but your goal will be focused on identifying and attaining a job that you actually really enjoy. Elevate your mood, shift how you’re feeling and what you‘re thinking so that it‘s all moving you toward your goal in a positive way. The research shows that when you relax, keep positive, and do the things that make you happy, good health will follow.

5. Write it down

There’s something in the action of turning what’s in our head into words on paper. Whether it be writing your goals in a visible place where you can see them everyday, or journalling every day to keep your thoughts and feelings in flow; just write it down. Make it positive, share it with someone who you trust and make it yours.

6. Create a structure to stay on track

Look at where you give up and put something there to keep you on track (a reward, a buddy, a coach, an “appointment“ with yourself, etc). It’s no coincidence that, as life coaches, we coach weekly or fortnightly. Everyone has a certain cycle of change, and your goals may need that regular tweak to make them challenging again.

7. Feel your end goal

If you’re going to the gym with gusto for the first week or two and then start making excuses, it’s time to reconnect with what you’re doing this all for and make that emotional attachment to the end goal. Connect with the feeling of what it’s like playing footy with your kids and not getting puffed, or climbing those stairs without needing a break.

8. Look outside and inside

Use this time of year to re-connect with friends and re-discover passions and things you love that you’ve put aside while you’ve been busy with everyday living.

9. Don’t just do something, lie there

Achieving goals isn’t just about doing more, doing it quicker and doing it by yesterday. If your 2010 diary is already micromanaged in five-minute intervals, you may want to consider putting your batteries on recharge rather than burnout. Read a book, meditate, spend a day lying on the grass watching clouds. If you find it hard to figure out how to slow down, ask yourself WWYCD (What Would Your Cat Do)?

10. Celebrate what you do have

Use the time to acknowledge all the good stuff you already have in your life. If you have a roof over your head, food on the table and are working then you’re already doing better than 95% of the world’s population (!).

It’s your life. Live it.

Do you need Resolutions or (R)evolution?

Get support for your 2010 goals with the new Work/Life Design Program. You can find out more about creating a life and work you love at www.worklifedesign.com.au

Related posts:

1. A new year. Hopes. Dreams. Possibilities.
2. How people change: Working with the stages and processes of change
3. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session: Part 4. Applications for Coaching Practice

Research really only matters when we can learn something useful from it – and apply it to our lives. In this case, we’ve learned a little more about what works in those initial stages of coaching – whether it be in a comp session or a screening call. But how do we integrate it? How do we apply this knowledge to creating more effective coaching? Here’s what I’ve learned from research and practice:

First Coaching Sessions: Conclusions

1. Hard sell doesn’t work  Even the current sales literature is clear – selling is all about the quality of relationship, not manipulating the client into buying. And, given the nature of coaching, it’s not the role of the coach to manipulate a client.

2. Repeat the mantra: The less directive, the more effective.  While the research suggests that it isn’t selling per se that is undermining the effectiveness of the first session, it does indicate that directiveness plays a major role. As we’ve learned from other helping literature, when you ask rather than tell, the client owns the ideas, understands the rationale and is more motivated to follow through.

3. Directiveness isn’t always bad  It may kill me to say this, but sometimes directiveness is useful. It could be in clarifying tasks or building the alliance that provides a structure for the client to work effectively. Directiveness becomes detrimental when it limits the client’s choices.

4. The coach-client match is a myth  There is no evidence to support the need for coach-client match. Many short-course trained coaches don’t get taught enough about building rapport. The coach-client match won’t mask this lack of skills. Instead, coaches can be proactive about developing a strong working alliance with clear goals, tasks, and expectations and bond-forming activities.

5. Build a working alliance in your initial conversations  The first contact between coach and client is about gathering the information to determine whether they can work together. As such, important questions are:

1. Is the client’s issue suitable for coaching? (goal, tasks);
2. Is the client at a stage of change where coaching is a suitable intervention? (Or how could coaching be a suitable intervention for the client?) (goal, tasks);
3. What does the coach need to know to understand and convey that understanding of the client’s situation to the client, so a bond can develop? (goal, task, bond);
4. How does the client know the coach is competent and can help in their situation? (bond, tasks).

(This is derived from the working alliance literature and the “screening interview” developed by Williams and Menendez 2007)

6. Be aware of client expectations   Whether it is the assumptions clients bring about what coaching is or how it works (“you’re going to fix my problems”) or the more culturally imbued assumptions of gender role expectations (“women are nurturing”), an awareness of the different and often unspoken expectations will minimise disappointment (of unmet expectations) further down the track. It will also give you an entry point for some important conversations about cultural and social influence on communication and behaviour.

7. Acknowledge the tension  Clients come to coaching with a certain amount of tension – fears, uncertainty – which can be used a valuable source of insight by both coach and client.

8. Be transparent in your process  The complimentary session is a sales technique; either present it as such so the clients know what to expect, or use processes that are congruent with the principles of coaching.

What did I really learn from all this?

In the end, it’s all about the beginnings. Get them right and you’ll have fewer headaches further down the track. Of course, as we move along we come across new information that may make our original beginnings naïve, inappropriate, or obsolete. It’s in these moments that we have the opportunity to begin again.  And so, coaching becomes a series of beginnings. Navigating these is what it’s all about.

Related posts:

1. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 3: The Research Study
2. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 1: Feel the Pain
3. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 2: The Selling of Coaching

You may have noticed that the blog posts at WestonCulture have become few and far between over the last few months. Yes, it was intentional. My writing had all got a bit “spit out the words and publish” and I didn’t feel I was writing (or posting) what was most important. I was carried away in the inanity of the online world.

While still enamoured of online inanity, I have relegated such things to their rightful place: Twitter. Interestingly, that has created more conversations than my blogging. People really seem to read and respond to those 140 character missives.

But alas, there are some things that require more than a pithy pun or trite sentence, and I intend to get the longer writing happening again. Whether I post it or not is a different story…

So what’s happening in the land of WestonCulture?

Lots.

An Affordable Coaching Program For All?

Rather than spending hours writing blog posts that no one reads, I’ve been developing a new coaching program. Yes, surprise surprise, coaching has lured me back. I’m developing it with other coaches and it’s quite possibly the most radical step I’ve taken in my coaching practice: Making high quality coaching affordable to anyone who needs it. Launch is imminent so I will keep you posted.

Noosa Soloists

On other fronts, I’ve started a group for solo business owners in my area. I’m not sure where it’s going but I am connecting with some lovely people (all of whom are women, interestingly…). Just goes to show you that business doesn’t have to be hard-nosed and dull. There are no suits and briefcases at the Noosa Soloist meetups, just talented people passionate about what they do.

Noosa Women

I’ve also started a social group for GLBT women in the Noosa area. Again, I’m getting a chance to meet more of “my people” locally. While I do have a bunch of dyke friends where I live, it took years to cultivate, and is teeny tiny compared with my network in the city. Leaving the “ghetto” of a big city queer culture to go live in paradise is often bittersweet. I get to live in this beautiful peaceful place, but it’s a challenge to find people who share my values, interests, or life experience. I know I’m not alone. I’ve spoken to many who have sea/tree-changed (gay and straight) who say the hardest thing is rebuilding social networks. So, seeing as no one was going to do it for me, I’ve decided to do it myself… There’s so much more to say on this but perhaps I’ll leave it for an article…

Being Home. Doing Nothing. Talking to cows.

The last few months have also seen a lot of travelling. Two trips out west and a lot of time working in Brisbane have made life very full. So much so that I’ve really appreciated being home when I’m here.  And that’s a very nice feeling.

I’ve watched way too much tv recently. I have been totally addicted to Grand Designs (all 9 seasons and extras!) and Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations. Hmmm, I wonder what that’s saying?!

I swear, it’s all research.

And music! So much great music is flowing over the itunes airwaves at the moment. I’ve been listening to a fair bit of UK Top 40 (pop), trashy dance comps, and the latest releases from La Roux, Florence and the Machine, Sarah Blasko and Black Eyed Peas.

Anyway, must be off and get through some of my Monday morning madness. Have a brilliant week and don’t forget to say hi if you’re in the neighbourhood.

Related posts:

1. OMG. What am I doing with my life? Letting go, it seems…
2. Toodle pip 2009. It was swell.
3. What. A. Week.

In the first two parts of this Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session series, I introduced the possibility that the complimentary coaching session, as commonly offered by coaches, was not the client enrolment panacea that it was touted to be. I had a theory that the sales focus of the session was undermining its usefulness as a helping technique. So I went looking for evidence to support my theory…

What the study was about

I thought the use of a very directive sales process was incongruent with the helping processes that coaching is based on. Specifically, I thought it could be undermining the trust needed to build a solid working relationship (something that’s been linked with effectiveness in the counselling literature). I also wondered if it was undermining not only the effectiveness of coaching, but also its credibility. Surely, leaving a coaching session feeling that you have been pressured or hustled would not make you want to go out and rave about coaching.

So I designed a questionnaire that looked at this. The 164 participants in my study were asked to read eight vignettes (or scenarios) which described them going to a first, complimentary session with a coach. These scenarios varied, depending on whether the coach used sales strategies or helping strategies, and whether the coach used a low or high level of directiveness. The participants were asked questions about effectiveness, relationship building, and whether their expectations were met for each vignette. I also varied the gender of the coach to see if there were any differences in the perception of male and female coaches. Also, I wanted to find out if partipicants who were coaches had different perceptions from those who weren’t coaches, so my sample included participants with a range of experience with coaching.

What the study found

In a word, lots. But not necessarily what I expected.

For example, the most significant factor contributing to effectiveness, a strong working relationship and expectations being met was not, as I had guessed, whether the strategy was sales or helping. It was directiveness; low directiveness was rated higher in these three categories.

Also, gender role expectations of the coaches surfaced in surprising ways. Female coaches were rated as more effective when using a helping strategy with a low level of directiveness. But this strategy also scored highest on a composite variable that emerged that I called Negative Feelings. So female coaches were most effective when they were being supportive and non-directive, but it certainly made people feel uncomfortable. I also collected qualitative responses for each of the strategies (ie comments from participants). They suggested that, when a female coach was non-directive, it was interpreted as “she just didn’t care enough” to continue. This was very interesting considering that this wasn’t an issue for male coaches.

A summary of results is as follows:

Effectiveness of first-session coaching strategy

It wasn’t the selling process per se which reduced effectiveness ,but the coach using a high level of directiveness. The less directive the session, the more effective it’s rated. The low directive helping strategy worked better for female coaches, as did the low directive selling strategy for male coaches.

Individual preferences were still important to participants, though. Some said they would want time to think about whether they continued with the coach, and some wanted the pressure of being put on the spot. Others wanted a followup phone call to show that the coach cared. Also, some liked a loosely structured session, while others preferred the very structured approach of the sales process.

How well did the strategies meet expectations?

The low directive strategies matched expectations more. Male coaches matched expectations for non-coach participants, whereas coach participants rated opposite.

How well did the strategies build a strong working relationship?

The low directive selling strategy built the strongest relationship between the coach an client, and the low directive helping strategy received the lowest relationship rating. Coach clients rated female coaches higher for building working relationship when they used a directive helping strategy. Participants suggested that there needed to be more rapport and relationship building in the first session.

There are positives to the selling approach. When it’s used without high pressure techniques, the transparency, clear goals and tasks actually help build the coach-client relationship. What puts clients off is not asking for the sale but using aggressively manipulative tactics to overcome objections.

Studies on directiveness in the counselling/therapy literature suggest that it’s not directiveness itself that may negatively impact on the relationship, but mediating variables of context and client attributes (such as the severity of problem and trait resistance). So a low alliance can be balanced by perceived support.

What role did Negative Feelings play?

There was a very high rating of negative feelings for the female coach using the low directive helping strategy – especially from the coach participants – which was interpreted by some participants as the coach “not caring enough”. This contrasted with the high negative feelings produced by the hard sell strategy which participant responses indicate were to do with feeling pressured.

This suggests that tension can exist and yet not have a negative impact on effectiveness or relationship. If looked at in terms of the needs-satisfaction theories of sales literature, the tension resulting from client needs not being met may not be an issue in the low directive approaches, as clients feel they still have choices.

Whereas with the hard sell strategy, the timing of the confronting question was off – it was too soon with so little relationship building.

Person-centred literature suggests that the congruence and authenticity of the coach and a collaborative approach are more influential than negative feelings. This makes sense when considering that negative feelings may be an integral part of coaching about change and challenge.

Difference in perceptions between coaches and non-coach participants

Non-coach participants rated low directive strategies as more effective and, when it came to feedback, stuck to saying how they wanted to be treated.

In contrast, coaches who participated in the study still had their coach hats on, giving plenty of feedback on process and rapport. As the vignettes asked participants to put themselves in the role of client, these results raise the question of whether these perceptions are contributing to the complimentary session conundrum. Are coaches really starting where the client is at?

Emergence of gender role expectations for coaches

The gender of the coach in the scenarios was found to be highly influential. Even though coaches rated the non-directive helping strategy (the one participants thought wasn’t caring enough) low on relationship and high on negative feelings, they still thought it was the most effective approach for female coaches. They rated the low directive selling strategy as most effective for male coaches.

Coach gender differences were more pronounced for non-coach participants. Non-coach participants rated male coaches as meeting their expectation more, and as building stronger relationships.

Counselling literature suggests that there is a preference for male counsellors to be authoritative and female counsellors to be nurturing. So it seems that gender role stereotypes are also alive and well in the coaching industry.

Where to from here?

Coaching claims to meet client needs, build good relationship and be financially viable. Accepted coach training school wisdom says the complimentary session is the best way to achieve these aims. As my study has shown, though, coaches and their potential clients often interpret the same process in radically different – and sometimes surprising – ways. Coaches and coach training schools needs to rethink the purpose, structure, and desirability of the complimentary coaching session.

Yeah, but what does this mean for coaching?

In the fourth and final part of this series, I combine these results with psych theory and coaching practice to provide some recommendations for how to run effective first coaching sessions.

Part 4: Applications for Coaching Practice

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Related posts:

1. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session: Part 4. Applications for Coaching Practice
2. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 1: Feel the Pain
3. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 2: The Selling of Coaching

In Part 1 of this series on Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session, I wrote about being introduced to the Comp Session as part of my coach training and how, at that early stage, something just didn’t sit right for me. I felt uneasy about using techniques that increase a client’s pain to tip them over a threshold into action. I thought coaching was a positive approach to change.

What I didn’t know in those early days was that the Comp Session was just a rejigged sales process, and letting clients “feel the pain” is a common old school sales technique. (I say “old school” because contemporary theories of selling are based on relationships and needs rather than manipulation.)

To understand how a Comp Session is a Sales Session in disguise, we need to look at the processes of each.

The Sales Process

While many techniques and methods are used in the selling activity, a five-step sales process underlies them all:

1) Prospecting for clients,

2) Qualifying clients,

3) Presentation of the product or service,

4) Overcoming objections, and

5) Closing the sale

(Pederson, Wright and Weitz, 1988).

Over the last 20 years, the selling process has evolved to focus on more consultative approaches and satisfying customer needs (Weitz, Castleberry and Tanner, 2001): the “soft sell” approach. The intention of this “partnership process” of selling is now concerned with “responding to objections” rather than overcoming objections, and “obtaining commitment” rather than closing the sale. There is also greater emphasis on building long-term partnerships after the sale.

There are hundreds of different methods for the salesperson to obtain commitment from a buyer. According to Weitz et al., no method should persuade a buyer to do what they do not want to do or buy something they do not need.

Commitment to buy can also take place outside of the salesperson’s actions by influence rather than directly obtaining commitment. Cialdini (1993) identified reciprocation as one of the most powerful and prevalent influence processes. The principle of reciprocation asserts that people are more likely to comply with requests from those who have already provided them with something.

So, even before the client meets the coach, the offer of a complimentary coaching session engages the potential client in a sales process. And the rest of the ‘sale’ is completed in the Comp Session.

The Complimentary Coaching Session Process

To understand the Comp Coaching Session process, let’s look at one used by one of the major international coach training organisations, CoachU / CoachInc.  It goes like this:

·       Welcome the prospect to the session

·       Briefly outline how the session will work

·       Listen as prospect shares the answer to the question you emailed him or her

·       State back to the prospect what you heard, making a point to identify his or her strengths

·       Allow the prospect to respond

·       Remember to listen for blocks and passions

·       Assign action steps for prospects to take immediately

·       Allow prospect to accept and end coaching part of session

·       Ask prospect what experience was like for him or her

·       Ask if the prospect sees how coaching could benefit him or her

·       Invite him or her to become your coachee

·       Allow him or her to answer; field questions and handle objections

(CoachU, 2005, p. 367)

It all sounds pretty good. The “prospect” (a sales term) is listened to and walked through a process that builds commitment to action. The close is a little awkward, but at least it’s presented as an invitation. It’s all fine until you get to the final phrase, “handle objections”, which gives away what this session is really about: getting the client to buy coaching.

How the Comp Session is a dressed-up Sales Call

If we look at the Comp Session in the context of the five stage sales process, we can see that inserting “Coaching” into stage three (presentation) gives you the process for client enrolment using the Complimentary Coaching Session. Stages one and two are taken care of by the coach’s marketing (find prospects and qualify - although the qualify stage can also be part of the comp session). Then, the Comp Session fulfils stages three, four and five with its coaching presentation, commitment/close and overcoming/responding to objections.

A Comp Session that follows this process can be on a continuum of soft sell (focusing on relationship and commitment) to hard sell (close the sale by any means). It is the recommendations for those final two steps of Closing the Sale and Overcoming Objections that take the Comp Session into “hard sell” territory.

The actual sales techniques used in the Comp Session depend on the potential client and what objections they may raise when the coach ‘closes the sale’ by asking them to be their client (or continue working together). The CoachU training manual presents three pages of potential objections (from “What are your qualifications?” to “I can’t afford it”) as part of the “Close the Sale” step.

The manual further advises the trainee coach that “objections are ‘buying’ signals. The prospective coachee is telling you ‘Yes but…’” (p. 367). CoachU (2005) also recommends that for self-employed coaches (which Grant and Zackon’s 2004 survey of coaches found was 73.7% of their sample) the complimentary coaching session is “one of the most important aspects of selling coaching. You want to allow the prospect to feel special.” (p. 365).

The manual rationalises the comp session as a way to evaluate whether there is a coach-client “match”, but doesn’t actually provide the criteria for assessing this “match”.  Instead, the coach is given two alternatives: the “puppy dog close” (i.e. “take the puppy dog home for the weekend…”) of the complimentary session, or the “assumptive close”, which continues the conversation on the assumption that the coachee has assented to continue.

CoachU anticipates the objections of its trainees with its own ‘Close the Sale’ conclusion:  “Although the idea of selling your services and closing a sale might seem removed from coaching, it is the only way to bring coachees into your practice.” (CoachU, 2005, p. 366)

CoachU’s training is not the only (nor the most overtly sales-focused) example of recommended complimentary session processes and strategies. I use this example because their training manual is a published document and easily verifiable.

Not all coaches advocate the use of the complimentary session, and not all coaches who do recommend the session advocate the use of the more persuasive sales strategies.

Writing about “how to give great sample sessions” in The Coaching Insider in 2006, Dianne Legro advises the coach to support the coachee’s decision to not continue and to “let go of the sale”. However, she also recommends that the coach needs to remind the coachee “the cost now of not living the life the client wants”. If a coach chooses to use stronger sales techniques, he or she is reminded to be “mindful that you don’t overly manipulate”.

Is a sales approach detrimental to coaching?

But when is the manipulation line crossed? When is the coach putting his/her interests (to get the sale) ahead of their clients (seeking a workable solution)? Does the client feel manipulated or pressured to sign up for coaching? And what effect does this having on the outcome?

If one of the first tasks of a coach is to build rapport and trust with their client, then would the sales-focus undermine this?  Also, if coaching is a client-centred, helping process then would using a coach-centred, sales process undermine this?

This is the tension I wanted to explore in my research: to pull apart what’s happening in the Comp Session. I wanted to find out if it really is effective or whether it creates a tension that is detrimental not only to the client and the coach, but perhaps the whole coaching industry.          

In Part 3 of Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session, I look at the research that addressed this question.

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Titles Referenced in this Post:

Cialdini, R. (1993) Influence: Science and practice. 3rd edition. New York: Harper Collins.

Coach U (2005) The Coach U Personal and Corporate Coach Training Handbook. New York: John Wiley & Sons.

Grant, A. & Zackon, R. (2004) Executive, workplace and life coaching: Findings from a large-scale survey of International Coach Federation members. International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring. 2 (2): 1-15.

Pederson, C., Wright, M., and Weitz, B. (1988) Selling: Principles and Methods. 9^th edition. Homewood, Il: Richard D. Irwin.

Weitz, B., Castleberry, S. and Tanner, J. (2001) Selling: Building Partnerships. 4^th edition. New York: McGraw-Hill/Irwin.

Related posts:

1. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 1: Feel the Pain
2. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session: Part 4. Applications for Coaching Practice
3. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 3: The Research Study

I recently completed my Masters’ dissertation which involved researching a process used in coaching called the Complimentary Coaching Session (often referred to as a Comp Session). 

Yes, like its name suggests, the Comp Session is a free (no-charge) coaching session.  Within the coaching industry, it is common practice to offer this free first session to potential clients so they can get an “experience of coaching” before deciding whether they want to sign up for a program.

I’ve had a problem with the Comp Session ever since I first came in contact with it early in my coach training. I was in a class called “From Free to Fee”, which was all about how to get clients, or more specifically how to convert a person who was happy to be coached once for free into someone itching to sign up to a 12-week program. We were introduced to the Complimentary Coaching Session and all the reasons for using it to transition clients into our business. These included the “experience of coaching” already mentioned, as well as seeing if there was a coach-client match so you could work well together. It was framed as all about giving the client the information to make an informed choice. It was the early days of coaching and few people knew what coaching was and how it could help, so it made sense to educate and inform by doing.

Being very green to coaching and eager to get some of these elusive clients for myself, I was all ears. The instructor gave examples of how to ask questions that result in the client saying “Yes, sign me up!” It was all very positive – if a little directive - but if the client wanted to change and the coach had the vehicle for change, then everyone’s needs are met and we’re all happy. But then one of my classmates asked, “Yeah, but what if you get the client to visualise a positive future and they still don’t want to sign up?”  And here is where it all changed for me. The instructor responded by introducing us to the “Kiss. Tell. Hurt.” approach, the first of many ill-advised torture devices of coaching that I’ve come across over the years.

According to the instructor, if the client didn’t see the benefit of coaching through the “positive futures” approach, then you had to bring them in touch with their pain: “What’s your life going to be like in 20 years if you continue doing what you’re doing now?” Ouch. I had visions of clients seeing themselves drunken, dishevelled, friendless and slumped in a gutter. Hmm, tough choice: homeless or sign up for coaching?

In the class, using the “pain” technique was presented as an acceptable way to convert clients because you were ultimately looking out for their best interests. This seems to assume that the coach knows best, and it’s the coach’s role to get the client to comply. But everything I’d ever read, heard or learned about coaching said otherwise. It’s one of the fundamentals of coaching that the client is the expert in their own lives. Surely, no means no?

Well, not necessarily in the Comp Session.

Part 2 of the Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session series looks at how the Comp Session disguises a sales technique as a coaching session.

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Related posts:

1. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session: Part 4. Applications for Coaching Practice
2. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 2: The Selling of Coaching
3. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 3: The Research Study