weston culture » process

How people change: Working with the stages and processes of change

trish — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 00:12:22 +0000

While archiving a journal recently, I found an old photocopied article wedged in its pages. Upon re-reading it, I was struck by just how relevant (and now, mainstream) the ideas in this article were.

The article, from the September 1992 edition of American Psychologist, was entitled “In Search of How People Change” and was written by James Prochaska, Carol DiClemente and John Norcross. In it, Prochaska and friends outline their “stages of change model” which has become de rigeur knowledge for change agents over the past 20 years. Based on their work in the field of addiction, the model proposes five stages that people go through when changing.

Pre-contemplation – where we see no problem with our behaviour or situation, and consequently have very little motivation to change
Contemplation – where we are thinking about change, maybe wondering what’s possible, checking out options but not acting on it
Preparation – where we seriously consider what needs to be done to bring about change
Action – where we do what’s needed to change
Maintenance – where we monitor and adjust our behaviour so that the change is sustained.

The Stages of Change are quite well known and often used as justification for why the cliche “a person has to be ready to change” is wheeled out when someone is resistant to change.

A less known part of the model is how it can inform the processes of change. Processes can range from consciousness raising and self-evaluation to helping relationships and stimulus control. Different processes help people move through the different stages.

For example, if you’re in Pre-Contemplation about your health, you’re quite happy to chow down at the greasy spoon for lunch everyday and not see it as a problem. But when you receive feedback from your GP (consciousness raising) that your cholesterol levels are above average, you may move into the Contemplation stage of “Maybe I should do something about my diet to improve my health?”.

It’s interesting but I’ve never read any coaching literature that explores what processes we use in relation to the stages. It’s probably because most of the people we work with are at the Preparation or Action stages and our processes help people get into action (and to a lesser degree, maintain change). I’ve been wondering how much better coaching could be if we gave more attention to what we could do in the other stages.

Revisiting Prochaska et al’s model has really opened my mind in relation to what’s possible with helping people change. I find this the mark of great research: it doesn’t just tell us how things are but invites us to explore what we can do with this knowledge.

The article is quite accessible and I’d invite you to read it for yourself and reflect on what it means for your own change or in working with those going through change. I’ve put a copy of it in the Studio.

This article was first published in the March edition of Design Notes, the newsletter of the Work/Life Design program.

Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session: Part 4. Applications for Coaching Practice

trish — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 10:17:50 +0000

The first three instalments of this series on Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session have looked at the practice of coaches offering a free coaching session as a way of enrolling new clients. We’ve looked at the context (what are coaches doing and why) and the processes involved. We’ve also examined the research I conducted to test my hypothesis that the sales model used in the comp session was undermining the effectiveness of coaching.

Research really only matters when we can learn something useful from it – and apply it to our lives. In this case, we’ve learned a little more about what works in those initial stages of coaching – whether it be in a comp session or a screening call. But how do we integrate it? How do we apply this knowledge to creating more effective coaching? Here’s what I’ve learned from research and practice:

First Coaching Sessions: Conclusions

1. Hard sell doesn’t work Even the current sales literature is clear – selling is all about the quality of relationship, not manipulating the client into buying. And, given the nature of coaching, it’s not the role of the coach to manipulate a client.

2. Repeat the mantra: The less directive, the more effective. While the research suggests that it isn’t selling per se that is undermining the effectiveness of the first session, it does indicate that directiveness plays a major role. As we’ve learned from other helping literature, when you ask rather than tell, the client owns the ideas, understands the rationale and is more motivated to follow through.

3. Directiveness isn’t always bad It may kill me to say this, but sometimes directiveness is useful. It could be in clarifying tasks or building the alliance that provides a structure for the client to work effectively. Directiveness becomes detrimental when it limits the client’s choices.

4. The coach-client match is a myth There is no evidence to support the need for coach-client match. Many short-course trained coaches don’t get taught enough about building rapport. The coach-client match won’t mask this lack of skills. Instead, coaches can be proactive about developing a strong working alliance with clear goals, tasks, and expectations and bond-forming activities.

5. Build a working alliance in your initial conversations The first contact between coach and client is about gathering the information to determine whether they can work together. As such, important questions are:

Is the client’s issue suitable for coaching? (goal, tasks);
Is the client at a stage of change where coaching is a suitable intervention? (Or how could coaching be a suitable intervention for the client?) (goal, tasks);
What does the coach need to know to understand and convey that understanding of the client’s situation to the client, so a bond can develop? (goal, task, bond);
How does the client know the coach is competent and can help in their situation? (bond, tasks).

(This is derived from the working alliance literature and the “screening interview” developed by Williams and Menendez 2007)

6. Be aware of client expectations Whether it is the assumptions clients bring about what coaching is or how it works (“you’re going to fix my problems”) or the more culturally imbued assumptions of gender role expectations (“women are nurturing”), an awareness of the different and often unspoken expectations will minimise disappointment (of unmet expectations) further down the track. It will also give you an entry point for some important conversations about cultural and social influence on communication and behaviour.

7. Acknowledge the tension Clients come to coaching with a certain amount of tension – fears, uncertainty – which can be used a valuable source of insight by both coach and client.

8. Be transparent in your process The complimentary session is a sales technique; either present it as such so the clients know what to expect, or use processes that are congruent with the principles of coaching.

What did I really learn from all this?

In the end, it’s all about the beginnings. Get them right and you’ll have fewer headaches further down the track. Of course, as we move along we come across new information that may make our original beginnings naïve, inappropriate, or obsolete. It’s in these moments that we have the opportunity to begin again. And so, coaching becomes a series of beginnings. Navigating these is what it’s all about.

Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 3: The Research Study

trish — Fri, 29 May 2009 07:10:55 +0000

In the first two parts of this Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session series, I introduced the possibility that the complimentary coaching session, as commonly offered by coaches, was not the client enrolment panacea that it was touted to be. I had a theory that the sales focus of the session was undermining its usefulness as a helping technique. So I went looking for evidence to support my theory…

What the study was about

I thought the use of a very directive sales process was incongruent with the helping processes that coaching is based on. Specifically, I thought it could be undermining the trust needed to build a solid working relationship (something that’s been linked with effectiveness in the counselling literature). I also wondered if it was undermining not only the effectiveness of coaching, but also its credibility. Surely, leaving a coaching session feeling that you have been pressured or hustled would not make you want to go out and rave about coaching.

So I designed a questionnaire that looked at this. The 164 participants in my study were asked to read eight vignettes (or scenarios) which described them going to a first, complimentary session with a coach. These scenarios varied, depending on whether the coach used sales strategies or helping strategies, and whether the coach used a low or high level of directiveness. The participants were asked questions about effectiveness, relationship building, and whether their expectations were met for each vignette. I also varied the gender of the coach to see if there were any differences in the perception of male and female coaches. Also, I wanted to find out if partipicants who were coaches had different perceptions from those who weren’t coaches, so my sample included participants with a range of experience with coaching.

What the study found

In a word, lots. But not necessarily what I expected.

For example, the most significant factor contributing to effectiveness, a strong working relationship and expectations being met was not, as I had guessed, whether the strategy was sales or helping. It was directiveness; low directiveness was rated higher in these three categories.

Also, gender role expectations of the coaches surfaced in surprising ways. Female coaches were rated as more effective when using a helping strategy with a low level of directiveness. But this strategy also scored highest on a composite variable that emerged that I called Negative Feelings. So female coaches were most effective when they were being supportive and non-directive, but it certainly made people feel uncomfortable. I also collected qualitative responses for each of the strategies (ie comments from participants). They suggested that, when a female coach was non-directive, it was interpreted as “she just didn’t care enough” to continue. This was very interesting considering that this wasn’t an issue for male coaches.

A summary of results is as follows:

Effectiveness of first-session coaching strategy

It wasn’t the selling process per se which reduced effectiveness ,but the coach using a high level of directiveness. The less directive the session, the more effective it’s rated. The low directive helping strategy worked better for female coaches, as did the low directive selling strategy for male coaches.

Individual preferences were still important to participants, though. Some said they would want time to think about whether they continued with the coach, and some wanted the pressure of being put on the spot. Others wanted a followup phone call to show that the coach cared. Also, some liked a loosely structured session, while others preferred the very structured approach of the sales process.

How well did the strategies meet expectations?

The low directive strategies matched expectations more. Male coaches matched expectations for non-coach participants, whereas coach participants rated opposite.

How well did the strategies build a strong working relationship?

The low directive selling strategy built the strongest relationship between the coach an client, and the low directive helping strategy received the lowest relationship rating. Coach clients rated female coaches higher for building working relationship when they used a directive helping strategy. Participants suggested that there needed to be more rapport and relationship building in the first session.

There are positives to the selling approach. When it’s used without high pressure techniques, the transparency, clear goals and tasks actually help build the coach-client relationship. What puts clients off is not asking for the sale but using aggressively manipulative tactics to overcome objections.

Studies on directiveness in the counselling/therapy literature suggest that it’s not directiveness itself that may negatively impact on the relationship, but mediating variables of context and client attributes (such as the severity of problem and trait resistance). So a low alliance can be balanced by perceived support.

What role did Negative Feelings play?

There was a very high rating of negative feelings for the female coach using the low directive helping strategy – especially from the coach participants – which was interpreted by some participants as the coach “not caring enough”. This contrasted with the high negative feelings produced by the hard sell strategy which participant responses indicate were to do with feeling pressured.

This suggests that tension can exist and yet not have a negative impact on effectiveness or relationship. If looked at in terms of the needs-satisfaction theories of sales literature, the tension resulting from client needs not being met may not be an issue in the low directive approaches, as clients feel they still have choices.

Whereas with the hard sell strategy, the timing of the confronting question was off – it was too soon with so little relationship building.

Person-centred literature suggests that the congruence and authenticity of the coach and a collaborative approach are more influential than negative feelings. This makes sense when considering that negative feelings may be an integral part of coaching about change and challenge.

Difference in perceptions between coaches and non-coach participants

Non-coach participants rated low directive strategies as more effective and, when it came to feedback, stuck to saying how they wanted to be treated.

In contrast, coaches who participated in the study still had their coach hats on, giving plenty of feedback on process and rapport. As the vignettes asked participants to put themselves in the role of client, these results raise the question of whether these perceptions are contributing to the complimentary session conundrum. Are coaches really starting where the client is at?

Emergence of gender role expectations for coaches

The gender of the coach in the scenarios was found to be highly influential. Even though coaches rated the non-directive helping strategy (the one participants thought wasn’t caring enough) low on relationship and high on negative feelings, they still thought it was the most effective approach for female coaches. They rated the low directive selling strategy as most effective for male coaches.

Coach gender differences were more pronounced for non-coach participants. Non-coach participants rated male coaches as meeting their expectation more, and as building stronger relationships.

Counselling literature suggests that there is a preference for male counsellors to be authoritative and female counsellors to be nurturing. So it seems that gender role stereotypes are also alive and well in the coaching industry.

Where to from here?

Coaching claims to meet client needs, build good relationship and be financially viable. Accepted coach training school wisdom says the complimentary session is the best way to achieve these aims. As my study has shown, though, coaches and their potential clients often interpret the same process in radically different – and sometimes surprising – ways. Coaches and coach training schools needs to rethink the purpose, structure, and desirability of the complimentary coaching session.

Yeah, but what does this mean for coaching?

In the fourth and final part of this series, I combine these results with psych theory and coaching practice to provide some recommendations for how to run effective first coaching sessions.

Part 4: Applications for Coaching Practice

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Career Change: Designing my new brilliant career

trish — Mon, 25 May 2009 00:59:54 +0000

When you’re self-employed, changing careers isn’t just about looking in the local paper to see what jobs are on offer. You actually have the opportunity to continue creating your own work in whatever field or way you choose. Over the last few months I’ve been re-imagining the work I do (and importantly, could do) and I’ve written about it in this article that is published today at Flying Solo.

There is plenty of career advice out there for job jockeys who want to change their employer. But what about a career change for soloists? What do you do when you’ve lost heart in your business? How do you tell it “I’m just not that into you”?

I’ve been going through what those in the personal change industry call [adopt warm counsellor voice] a transition. I’ve been in my current field for seven years, just completed a qualification in a different field, and most importantly, have discovered another (yes, third) field that I’d rather be playing in. Sigh.

In a way, it’s exciting because like the kid in the candy store, I can see much joy ahead of me. On the other hand, part of me doesn’t want to let go of my current business. We’ve had so many fun times together. We’ve grown together. Spent so many late nights together. Parting seems intolerable.

So I’ve decided to go for Option 1.5 The Cake and Eat It strategy. That is, it takes the best aspects of each of my options (1. Stay and 2. Leave) and creates a new option, 1.5 my new brilliant career.

So how did I get here?

1. The thrill has gone. I think it’s common for your feelings about your business to change over its lifecycle. But when my feeling of unrest was joined by a lack of interest, I knew it was time for a rethink. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to ditch the business and do something different or if it just needed a bit of a rejuvenation jag.

2. The cycle of (work) life. Over the course of my working life, I have changed my career focus about every seven years. The lack of attachment to one, lifelong career has given me the freedom to move or shift as my life or situation changes. And as a soloist, I can act on a career change when I’m ready.

3. What next for me? Having made the decision that I was ready to move on (or at least sideways), I sat down and re-visited my values, purpose, strengths, interests, knowledge, skills and abilities – all those things that I personally bring to my work.

I asked myself: what am I interested in now? What’s important to me now? What aptitudes do I want to develop? All this comes together and forms my soloist capital or potential – something that I can access whenever I choose.

4. What next for the world? Here at Flying Solo, you’ll read a lot about business being about connection. Recent technology changes mean that connecting with people who are interested in your product or service is easier than ever. With the world in flux, new market needs are emerging every day, some of which will endure. For me, I see so many opportunities to address these needs with my unique mix of soloist capital.

5. Embrace my inner-entrepreneur. This is my favourite step as it’s about bringing it all together, creating something new and getting very excited. It’s the time of grand visions and audacious goals. Enthusiasm for what I’m doing not only means that I enjoy my work (yay), but it also goes hand in hand with being more productive. And I’ve found that people love to be connected to exciting things.

So I’m now putting Option 1.5 into action. I’ve taken aspects of my former business (the knowledge, the skills, the contact list!) and merged them with the opportunities (the excitement, the obsessive interest, the talent to be developed) and created something fresh: My new brilliant career.

And as a soloist, I don’t need to go out and find an employer who has a position like this. I am my own job creation programme.

This article first appeared in the online community for solo business owners www.flyingsolo.com.au

Setting up your Business Action Group

trish — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 11:54:40 +0000

Here’s the second part of the Business Action Group article which sets out the basics for setting up your own group.

Last month we talked about getting together with other soloists to support and grow your business through a Business Action Group (BAG). If you’re thinking “This is for me” then here are the steps to setting up your very own BAG.

Get clear about what you want

People join groups for different reasons. For your Business Action Group to be effective you need to get clear about your own intentions and expectations for meeting, as well as sounding out other members. For example, you don’t want a group where one member’s intention is simply to spend 60 minutes dumping their “woes of the week”.

Select your members

Next you need to identify the people who you would like to work with. In your BAG mix, you may wish to consider skills, experience, knowledge, resources, gender and ages that will complement each other. Also, do you want people from from within (or outside of) your own profession/industry? Finally, check that your expectations and values are a match and your new BAG will be ready to roll.

Your BAG may happen organically, in that you invite one person who invites another and so on, or you might have your “dream team“ already in mind. The optimal size of a BAG is between four and six people. This gives enough time each meeting for each person to focus on their business while maximising the resources and scope of the group.

Get together

Once you’ve identified your group’s purpose and at least one person you’d like to invite then you can organise your first meeting. Here you can find out what everyone wants and create the structure to support this.

Some issues you may wish to give attention to are

how you will meet (face to face, tele- and/or video-conference);
how often (weekly, fortnightly, monthly) and
what your initial commitment to the group will be (e.g. three months and then revise).

From there you can draw on the wisdom and resources of the group to outline how each meeting will proceed and set some guidelines. Meetings usually have the format of:

General introductions and follow-up from the previous meeting.
Each member gets 10 to 15 minutes to discuss an issue/question/opportunity they are facing in their business. This includes outlining the issue, getting ideas/questions from others and then committing to taking some action that the group will hold you accountable for.
Actions are recorded and distributed after the meeting by the leader.

The role of leader ideally rotates through the members, which enables you to get a chance to develop your group leadership skills in the bargain!

Business Action Group basics

Some basic guidelines of BAGs include:

Creating a culture of respect – everyone brings a range of skills, experience and knowledge.
Feedback is encouraged but criticism has no place.
Confidentiality is a given.
No one person dominates the group.
Older members can learn from younger members. The more experienced can learn from newcomers. If you didn’t have something to learn you wouldn’t be there.

It’s personal

Whilst all this action talk may make it sound very task-oriented, once you’ve met a few times you’ll find that trust and rapport emerges, discussions become personal and you start to see people beyond their business bravado.

This is when your BAG becomes special. I’ve been blown away by the brilliance of members of my group, or just touched by their courage in the face of adversity, or their vulnerability when trying something new. And yet they do it. And you’re so proud. And you celebrate.

“You’re doing a great job”

Aren’t they the words everyone wants to hear? When you’re the boss, there often isn’t anyone around to say these words. With a Business Action Group, you’ll not only become more effective and will make decisions that you believe in, you’ll also get the feedback that lets you know you are doing a great job.

Go get ‘em.

This article first appeared in the online community for solo business owners www.flyingsolo.com.au

Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 2: The Selling of Coaching

trish — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:06:06 +0000

In Part 1 of this series on Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session, I wrote about being introduced to the Comp Session as part of my coach training and how, at that early stage, something just didn’t sit right for me. I felt uneasy about using techniques that increase a client’s pain to tip them over a threshold into action. I thought coaching was a positive approach to change.

What I didn’t know in those early days was that the Comp Session was just a rejigged sales process, and letting clients “feel the pain” is a common old school sales technique. (I say “old school” because contemporary theories of selling are based on relationships and needs rather than manipulation.)

To understand how a Comp Session is a Sales Session in disguise, we need to look at the processes of each.

The Sales Process

While many techniques and methods are used in the selling activity, a five-step sales process underlies them all:

1) Prospecting for clients,

2) Qualifying clients,

3) Presentation of the product or service,

4) Overcoming objections, and

5) Closing the sale

(Pederson, Wright and Weitz, 1988).

Over the last 20 years, the selling process has evolved to focus on more consultative approaches and satisfying customer needs (Weitz, Castleberry and Tanner, 2001): the “soft sell” approach. The intention of this “partnership process” of selling is now concerned with “responding to objections” rather than overcoming objections, and “obtaining commitment” rather than closing the sale. There is also greater emphasis on building long-term partnerships after the sale.

There are hundreds of different methods for the salesperson to obtain commitment from a buyer. According to Weitz et al., no method should persuade a buyer to do what they do not want to do or buy something they do not need.

Commitment to buy can also take place outside of the salesperson’s actions by influence rather than directly obtaining commitment. Cialdini (1993) identified reciprocation as one of the most powerful and prevalent influence processes. The principle of reciprocation asserts that people are more likely to comply with requests from those who have already provided them with something.

So, even before the client meets the coach, the offer of a complimentary coaching session engages the potential client in a sales process. And the rest of the ‘sale’ is completed in the Comp Session.

The Complimentary Coaching Session Process

To understand the Comp Coaching Session process, let’s look at one used by one of the major international coach training organisations, CoachU / CoachInc. It goes like this:

· Welcome the prospect to the session

· Briefly outline how the session will work

· Listen as prospect shares the answer to the question you emailed him or her

· State back to the prospect what you heard, making a point to identify his or her strengths

· Allow the prospect to respond

· Remember to listen for blocks and passions

· Assign action steps for prospects to take immediately

· Allow prospect to accept and end coaching part of session

· Ask prospect what experience was like for him or her

· Ask if the prospect sees how coaching could benefit him or her

· Invite him or her to become your coachee

· Allow him or her to answer; field questions and handle objections

(CoachU, 2005, p. 367)

It all sounds pretty good. The “prospect” (a sales term) is listened to and walked through a process that builds commitment to action. The close is a little awkward, but at least it’s presented as an invitation. It’s all fine until you get to the final phrase, “handle objections”, which gives away what this session is really about: getting the client to buy coaching.

How the Comp Session is a dressed-up Sales Call

If we look at the Comp Session in the context of the five stage sales process, we can see that inserting “Coaching” into stage three (presentation) gives you the process for client enrolment using the Complimentary Coaching Session. Stages one and two are taken care of by the coach’s marketing (find prospects and qualify - although the qualify stage can also be part of the comp session). Then, the Comp Session fulfils stages three, four and five with its coaching presentation, commitment/close and overcoming/responding to objections.

A Comp Session that follows this process can be on a continuum of soft sell (focusing on relationship and commitment) to hard sell (close the sale by any means). It is the recommendations for those final two steps of Closing the Sale and Overcoming Objections that take the Comp Session into “hard sell” territory.

The actual sales techniques used in the Comp Session depend on the potential client and what objections they may raise when the coach ‘closes the sale’ by asking them to be their client (or continue working together). The CoachU training manual presents three pages of potential objections (from “What are your qualifications?” to “I can’t afford it”) as part of the “Close the Sale” step.

The manual further advises the trainee coach that “objections are ‘buying’ signals. The prospective coachee is telling you ‘Yes but…’” (p. 367). CoachU (2005) also recommends that for self-employed coaches (which Grant and Zackon’s 2004 survey of coaches found was 73.7% of their sample) the complimentary coaching session is “one of the most important aspects of selling coaching. You want to allow the prospect to feel special.” (p. 365).

The manual rationalises the comp session as a way to evaluate whether there is a coach-client “match”, but doesn’t actually provide the criteria for assessing this “match”. Instead, the coach is given two alternatives: the “puppy dog close” (i.e. “take the puppy dog home for the weekend…”) of the complimentary session, or the “assumptive close”, which continues the conversation on the assumption that the coachee has assented to continue.

CoachU anticipates the objections of its trainees with its own ‘Close the Sale’ conclusion: “Although the idea of selling your services and closing a sale might seem removed from coaching, it is the only way to bring coachees into your practice.” (CoachU, 2005, p. 366)

CoachU’s training is not the only (nor the most overtly sales-focused) example of recommended complimentary session processes and strategies. I use this example because their training manual is a published document and easily verifiable.

Not all coaches advocate the use of the complimentary session, and not all coaches who do recommend the session advocate the use of the more persuasive sales strategies.

Writing about “how to give great sample sessions” in The Coaching Insider in 2006, Dianne Legro advises the coach to support the coachee’s decision to not continue and to “let go of the sale”. However, she also recommends that the coach needs to remind the coachee “the cost now of not living the life the client wants”. If a coach chooses to use stronger sales techniques, he or she is reminded to be “mindful that you don’t overly manipulate”.

Is a sales approach detrimental to coaching?

But when is the manipulation line crossed? When is the coach putting his/her interests (to get the sale) ahead of their clients (seeking a workable solution)? Does the client feel manipulated or pressured to sign up for coaching? And what effect does this having on the outcome?

If one of the first tasks of a coach is to build rapport and trust with their client, then would the sales-focus undermine this? Also, if coaching is a client-centred, helping process then would using a coach-centred, sales process undermine this?

This is the tension I wanted to explore in my research: to pull apart what’s happening in the Comp Session. I wanted to find out if it really is effective or whether it creates a tension that is detrimental not only to the client and the coach, but perhaps the whole coaching industry.

In Part 3 of Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session, I look at the research that addressed this question.

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Titles Referenced in this Post:

Cialdini, R. (1993) Influence: Science and practice. 3rd edition. New York: Harper Collins.

Coach U (2005) The Coach U Personal and Corporate Coach Training Handbook. New York: John Wiley & Sons.

Grant, A. & Zackon, R. (2004) Executive, workplace and life coaching: Findings from a large-scale survey of International Coach Federation members. International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring. 2 (2): 1-15.

Pederson, C., Wright, M., and Weitz, B. (1988) Selling: Principles and Methods. 9^th edition. Homewood, Il: Richard D. Irwin.

Weitz, B., Castleberry, S. and Tanner, J. (2001) Selling: Building Partnerships. 4^th edition. New York: McGraw-Hill/Irwin.

Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 1: Feel the Pain

trish — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:52:50 +0000

I recently completed my Masters’ dissertation which involved researching a process used in coaching called the Complimentary Coaching Session (often referred to as a Comp Session).

Yes, like its name suggests, the Comp Session is a free (no-charge) coaching session. Within the coaching industry, it is common practice to offer this free first session to potential clients so they can get an “experience of coaching” before deciding whether they want to sign up for a program.

I’ve had a problem with the Comp Session ever since I first came in contact with it early in my coach training. I was in a class called “From Free to Fee”, which was all about how to get clients, or more specifically how to convert a person who was happy to be coached once for free into someone itching to sign up to a 12-week program. We were introduced to the Complimentary Coaching Session and all the reasons for using it to transition clients into our business. These included the “experience of coaching” already mentioned, as well as seeing if there was a coach-client match so you could work well together. It was framed as all about giving the client the information to make an informed choice. It was the early days of coaching and few people knew what coaching was and how it could help, so it made sense to educate and inform by doing.

Being very green to coaching and eager to get some of these elusive clients for myself, I was all ears. The instructor gave examples of how to ask questions that result in the client saying “Yes, sign me up!” It was all very positive – if a little directive - but if the client wanted to change and the coach had the vehicle for change, then everyone’s needs are met and we’re all happy. But then one of my classmates asked, “Yeah, but what if you get the client to visualise a positive future and they still don’t want to sign up?” And here is where it all changed for me. The instructor responded by introducing us to the “Kiss. Tell. Hurt.” approach, the first of many ill-advised torture devices of coaching that I’ve come across over the years.

According to the instructor, if the client didn’t see the benefit of coaching through the “positive futures” approach, then you had to bring them in touch with their pain: “What’s your life going to be like in 20 years if you continue doing what you’re doing now?” Ouch. I had visions of clients seeing themselves drunken, dishevelled, friendless and slumped in a gutter. Hmm, tough choice: homeless or sign up for coaching?

In the class, using the “pain” technique was presented as an acceptable way to convert clients because you were ultimately looking out for their best interests. This seems to assume that the coach knows best, and it’s the coach’s role to get the client to comply. But everything I’d ever read, heard or learned about coaching said otherwise. It’s one of the fundamentals of coaching that the client is the expert in their own lives. Surely, no means no?

Well, not necessarily in the Comp Session.

Part 2 of the Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session series looks at how the Comp Session disguises a sales technique as a coaching session.

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Organic business: Why I’ve gone organic

trish — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 01:55:11 +0000

I’ve been writing articles for the online business community, Flying Solo, for a couple of years now. This article on my organic approach to business is one of my favourites from last year.

As a soloist, I’ve struggled to find the right amount of structure to keep my business fresh, enjoyable and with a healthy cash flow. I have discovered over time that the organic business approach works best for me.

I’ll give anything a go to see if it works and consequently, I’ve tried many of the gurus’ business models.

I implemented the seven habits and became somewhat effective. I spent a lot of time thinking but didn’t really grow rich. And, I rejected the myth of the entrepreneur by working on my business only to realise what I most enjoy is working in my business. So how come this expert advice hasn’t worked for me?

Other people’s programs don’t work because I’m not actually listening to the real expert in my business: me. That’s where organic business comes in.

Your organic business approach

By organic business, I don’t mean growing veggies under my desk. It’s about drawing inspiration and insight from my own natural systems and rhythms as well as those around me, and creating business structures and practices that are in sync with these.

It’s about being responsive to what’s happening now, aware of the infinite possibilities, and mindful of what has worked and not worked in the past. It’s about listening to the earth, the community and myself, trusting my intuition and making decisions based on the really big picture (see my previous articles on creating a sustainable business).

An organic business approach is not without structure. It’s just a natural, adaptive structure with minimal constraints. It involves redefining success as being able to learn from each step you take towards your goals.

It’s also based on the fact that we cannot fully imagine the future. We can plan, but we can’t take all of the complexity into account. The beauty of keeping our goals or visions fuzzy is that more often than not the future will actually be better than we imagined.

Natural cycles

As with nature, I’ve found there are cycles in business that I can either work with and flourish, or doggedly work against and be continually frustrated. While it’s sometimes difficult to accept the fallow periods when they’re happening, I’ve always found that they are essential for creativity and innovation.

For me, the busy-ness has to stop so fresh ideas and approaches can emerge. Following the seasons, along with my natural energy levels, is more effective than mindlessly churning out a nine to five day. I work earlier in the summer, later in winter, get plenty of siesta time in the hotter months, and when it’s right, I work a four hour day.

And when I work, I might go from a complex task to something that’s a no-brainer or something that makes the neurons fire a little faster. Rather than being a distraction, I find that mixing it up keeps it fresh.

Allowing the path of least resistance

One of the most valuable questions I have ever been asked is “Who are your people?” That question made it clear to me that marketing isn’t about persuading strangers to buy, but about letting those who know and trust me hook me up with people who need my services. For me, taking an organic approach is about allowing these pre-existing paths – or the path of least resistance – to help me get where I want to go. So I use my natural networks to create business, and my values, interests and strengths guide my business direction.

Find freedom and your edge with flexibility

Like many soloists, I want flexibility and freedom. Going organic allows this. By developing a strong core of who I am and what I do well, I can bend like the reed in my rapidly changing environment. I can gain my edge by responding and adapting to changing technology, markets and cultural shifts. And by being open to multiple income sources or ways of working – whether it’s as a soloist, an employee or a contractor – I’m not putting all my eggs in one wobbly basket.

Goodbye hierarchies, hello connections

Our businesses are naturally non-hierarchical – except for those of us with multiple personalities – and ideally suited to an organic approach. We can communicate directly with our customers and suppliers, and build the trust and rapport that leads to natural marketing through word of mouth and referrals.

My organic business approach helps me because it’s based on how I work best. I know that there is no ‘one right way’ to do business – just ways that suck the life out of me by creating doubt and despair, or ways that remind me why I’m doing this in the first place.

I don’t know about you, but I prefer the latter.

This article first appeared in the online community for solo business owners www.flyingsolo.com.au

Free your mind: The power of Unsubscribing from email lists

trish — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 05:40:48 +0000

It’s that time of the year when I review what I’m doing and start re-visioning how I’d like my next twelve months to be. This year, I’ve decided that my future is going to have a lot less email.

I use email a lot. It’s my main connection with the world. I like it so much I even wrote an article about it for Flying Solo – which was re-published the other week as a 2008 Favourite. So when I decided that 2009 was going to be just focusing on what’s really important to me, I knew that meant that clearing out the clutter that lands in my Inbox.

What I am interested in now

I started the cull a few weeks ago as the sales bumpf masquerading as seasons greetings started flowing through. There are a few things I really love receiving – Boing Boing, Neatorama, the Pos Psych Developments list, the daily quotes from Kristin Coach, Rob Brezsny’s astrology, Treehugger.

Sales pitch does not equal value

There are many many other lists that I subscribed to when I was doing my research and are no longer relevant – so I’ve unsubscribed from dozens of coaching mailing lists. That feels very freeing, and I don’t feel I’m missing out on anything as they have tended to say the same thing for the last seven years I’ve been watching: Woo, change your life, pay me now.

Sending me crap will not make me buy

That’s not what I’m looking for at the moment. Actually, I’m not sure if it ever was. It’s such a shame when people start newsletters/blogs with something valuable to say and then lose it all to the sales pitch. I have a separate email that I use for signing up to “free report” lists that look a little dodgy. I’m curious enough, and the person has my attention, but then they usually go and stuff it up by clogging up my Inbox with their “offers”. I rarely check that particular email address but when I looked today there were over 1500 messages waiting for me. Some of the free report peddlers were sending up to five emails a week! It’s like I’d signed up for spam.

It’s not you, it’s me

Back at my everyday Inbox, there are some lists that were once great reads but I no longer get much from. Sure, some newsletters/blogs lose their mojo, but it’s more likely that I’ve heard enough of what they have to say, and I’m moving on. Then there are the mailing lists I stay with because they have one tiny bit of value that I appreciate.

Finding the hidden gems

I’ve been known to skim the ‘content’ of newsletters until I get to the “On a Personal Note” sections because I feel this is where the truth or insights of life start to shine through. There’s a very popular newsletter, This Is True, that is an entertaining and sometimes outrageous compilation of “truth is stranger than fiction” news stories from around the globe. But, I don’t actually read the stories, just my two favourite sections: the “Bonzer Website of the Week” and the “Honorary Unsubscribe” i.e death of a significant but usually unknown person. These are tiny sections at the end of the newsletter have kept me subscribed for years.

Similarly, another newsletter I read only for the “Who said this?” quote at the end. Unfortunately, that section’s gone so I’ll be unsubscribing. [Newsflash: Just received a copy and the section is back. Wow, how is that for a universal conspiracy?!]

What makes a great blog/newsletter?

So, for me, something that arrives in my Inbox, gets my attention, and makes it through my filters has one or more of these factors:

it is quirky or provides a different perspective on life
it is original or is saying something important in an innovative way
it is easy to read
it is personal and speaks to me – not down to me.
if it has a sales message – and I prefer it not to – it is clever and discreet
it makes me go “Wow” or laugh or marvel how amazing people can be (or nature for that matter).

Fortunately, email technology makes the Unsubscribe process easy now. So, as I’ve been culling and as the email-deluge has naturally subsided over the holidays, I have to say that I’ve been enjoying opening up my Inbox more and more. Now I know that everything that shows up is something I want to read. Isn’t that why we use email? It helps us stay in contact with the people, ideas and opportunities that will enhance our life.

[BTW you know can Subscribe or Unsubscribe to this blog by clicking up in top right hand corner. Tee. Hee.]

On Reflective Practice, or, Why I write.

trish — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 21:46:41 +0000

Using writing as reflective practice not only develops your communication skills but can also help you with those big (and little) life decisions.

Reflective practice. Means nothing to you? No, it probably wouldn’t unless you’d trained as a teacher or a nurse or a psych or a management consultant. It’s a shame it’s not more well-known because I find it the most helpful technique/ approach to improving not only my professional practice but also my life.

What is reflective practice?

In a nutshell, reflective practice is about looking at an incident or situation – usually one which has gone totally pear-shaped but it works equally well with peak events – and asks “What the heck was going on there?”

You describe what was said or done (the action or behaviour), the feelings that you were experiencing as this was happening, and the thoughts behind the feelings or the behaviour. Then you take it back to first principles, or your ‘truth’ or belief underlying the behaviour, and it can reveal whether your values-in-action are matching your espoused-values. (ie are your actions aligned with what you say?)

Once you have a little insight into the situation then reflective practice asks that you explore different ways to approach the situation in the future (ie How could I have done this differently?). You add the possible new behaviour to your kitbag that you can test next time you’re in the same (or even similar) situation. Then you reflect on it again. It’s a cyclical thing. Much like coaching, except you do it yourself.

It all sounds a bit cognitive when I put it that way, but it really is a quite gentle process. It comes from the assumption that we all have good reasons to do or say the things we do. Sometimes we misjudge the consequences, sometimes we forget about the consequences, but at some level there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for us doing daft things.

It’s all about learning

If you see change from a learning perspective (such as with Lewin or Kolb’s cycle of experiencing, reflecting, thinking and acting), reflective practice addresses (and makes explicit) the reflecting and thinking phases of the learning cycle that we may take for granted as we rush through life.

As mentioned earlier, reflective practice was developed in professions where it is important (often critical) to learn from your mistakes. What I like best about it is the simple act of sitting down and writing out the experience means that I have to stop and look at the consequences of my actions. It requires me to consider options I may not have previously rather than just blindly continue doing what I always do. In doing so, patterns of behaviour or thinking are revealed, different perspectives can be explored and it opens up a world of possibility.

Revive yourself for conscious living

It also brings a lot of my unconscious actions or beliefs into consciousness so that I know I have a whole swag of skills or options at my disposal when a similar situation arises again. Knowing I have this repertoire of responses does wonders for my self-efficacy (the belief that I can do something), which is one of the key players in goal achievement.

Reflective practice can be used in many situations such as post-training implementation, action research and learning at work – and even getting on better with your partner. And after you do it for a while, you’ll find it occurs naturally when you’re in the situation so that you get what they call reflection-in-action as well.

I use reflective practice as part of my daily journaling and I find it helps me get to the bottom of things that are bugging me. And you’ll see plenty of it here at westonculture as it’s my preferred writing style: I write for understanding and ultimately to find better ways of living and working.

If you’re interested in using reflective practice in your own work and life, then checkout my Reflective Practice worksheet. It was written for coaches but I think it’s still applicable across work and life situations.