The article, from the September 1992 edition of American Psychologist, was entitled “In Search of How People Change” and was written by James Prochaska, Carol DiClemente and John Norcross. In it, Prochaska and friends outline their “stages of change model” which has become de rigeur knowledge for change agents over the past 20 years. Based on their work in the field of addiction, the model proposes five stages that people go through when changing.

1. Pre-contemplation – where we see no problem with our behaviour or situation, and consequently have very little motivation to change
2. Contemplation – where we are thinking about change, maybe wondering what’s possible, checking out options but not acting on it
3. Preparation – where we seriously consider what needs to be done to bring about change
4. Action – where we do what’s needed to change
5. Maintenance – where we monitor and adjust our behaviour so that the change is sustained.

The Stages of Change are quite well known and often used as justification for why the cliche “a person has to be ready to change” is wheeled out when someone is resistant to change.

A less known part of the model is how it can inform the processes of change. Processes can range from consciousness raising and self-evaluation to helping relationships and stimulus control. Different processes help people move through the different stages.

For example, if you’re in Pre-Contemplation about your health, you’re quite happy to chow down at the greasy spoon for lunch everyday and not see it as a problem. But when you receive feedback from your GP (consciousness raising) that your cholesterol levels are above average, you may move into the Contemplation stage of “Maybe I should do something about my diet to improve my health?”.

It’s interesting but I’ve never read any coaching literature that explores what processes we use in relation to the stages. It’s probably because most of the people we work with are at the Preparation or Action stages and our processes help people get into action (and to a lesser degree, maintain change). I’ve been wondering how much better coaching could be if we gave more attention to what we could do in the other stages.

Revisiting Prochaska et al’s model has really opened my mind in relation to what’s possible with helping people change. I find this the mark of great research: it doesn’t just tell us how things are but invites us to explore what we can do with this knowledge.

The article is quite accessible and I’d invite you to read it for yourself and reflect on what it means for your own change or in working with those going through change. I’ve put a copy of it in the Studio.

This article was first published in the March edition of Design Notes, the newsletter of the Work/Life Design program.

Related posts:

1. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session: Part 4. Applications for Coaching Practice
2. Career Change: Designing my new brilliant career
3. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 2: The Selling of Coaching

As a coach, I’ve achieved most of what I set out to do – except when it comes to keeping New Year resolutions. I still have my written resolution to learn the guitar in 2006 somewhere. It’s probably near the guitar I never learned to play.

And apparently I’m not alone. According to research in the US, only 15 to 20 percent of people achieve what they set out to do on January 1. In terms of strategies, I’d say this one isn’t very effective. And yet every year most of us participate in a ritual that routinely makes us feel like we’re failures.

You see, New Year resolutions don’t take into account how we change. We blindly believe that just by saying it (“Lose weight”, “Stop smoking”, etc) we will make it so on January 1. Our conscious thoughts can be powerful things, but they usually need a little help. When we make New Year Resolutions, we usually make them too vague (“lose weight”, but how much and how?), too negative (“I’m going to stop dating lying bastards like I’ve done the past five years”) and too overwhelming (“I want a hot body, hot partner, fame and a six-month round the world holiday”).

Just to make it harder, we joke about how long our resolutions will last and how spectacularly we will fail at them. Imagine if we treated our big life choices the way we treated our resolutions (“Yeah, I just got into uni; but I’ll probably fail, drop out, end up homeless and with a massive HECS debt”).

Now, don’t get me wrong; I think the beginning of a new year is a fine time to sit down and take stock of where we are in our lives, acknowledge the great things that have happened in the previous 12 months, perhaps give some consideration to how we’d do things differently if faced with some of the choices that gave us grief, and ask the question: What do I really want?

But if you’re really interested in changing some part of your life – and this time you want it to actually happen – then I challenge you to ditch the resolutions and start setting some goals.

What’s the difference between goals and resolutions?

Goals are about action and tangible results

You can say you want to make a million bucks this year, but until you get off the couch and do something, then it probably ain’t going to happen. Goals describe what you will be doing when you have achieved your intention – often quite specifically in a way that can be measured. You will be left with no doubt whether you attained it or not.

Goals have feedback built into them

You need to know if you are on track, or whether you need to change your strategy. And often the best way to do this is through the goal having a measurable component (such as “I will be exercising for 40 minutes a day, 3 days a week”) or even having people you can ask “Do you think this looks right?”

Goals create a path of “least resistance”

Goals have followup, support structures and excitement built into them so that you can actually achieve them. They acknowledge and work with the “path of least resistance”, which is your “natural” way of doing things. You thus encounter fewer obstacles. And goals have a support structure that pulls you toward them. This may be the way you structure your day or prioritise or it may be having people around you to encourage you as you make changes.

Goals are short-term, long-term and changing

Your goals will be with you for the entire 12 months. You will be visiting them regularly (sometimes daily, at least monthly) to see whether you’re still on track. Shock of all horrors, they may actually change over that twelve months as you realise that you didn’t really want to be a doctor anymore and joined the Sea Shepherds instead.

Goals challenge you

Goals are challenging (just out of your reach) but also not too far so you always have the belief that you can achieve it. Goals acknowledge what you’ve got to learn along the way. So you may have a long-term goal of finding a partner who you love to be with, but perhaps before that happens you’ll need to address your confidence in meeting new people generally.

Goals keep you in motion

Goals build your confidence by gradually moving you toward what you want rather than the ‘sink or swim’ approach. They acknowledge where you’re at, your skills, your beliefs and what really has to change. They are ongoing. You revisit them every week, every month and they change and grow with you.

Don’t set yourself up for failure in 2010 by talking about resolutions you know you’ll give up on after two weeks of suffering. Bring what you really want to life right now by setting some goals.

10 tips for achieving your goals in 2010

1. Ask yourself: Is this what I really want?

Your goals reflect your values and what’s most important to you in life. If you’re on holidays and would just like to feel this relaxed all the time, then perhaps it’s time to look at the work you’re doing or the way you are spending your working hours and ask “Is this what I really want to be doing? Is this what I really want to be doing in 12 months, 5 years, or 20 years? Do I need to change careers or change something about the way I work, or do I need to change myself?”

2. Be specific

Goals are specific and tend to be something you can measure (so you know when you get there). When you set goals for yourself – not your partner, your mother or your boss – you get the payoff everytime. Goals have a time-frame so you know when and if and what you’ve got to do to achieve them this month or this year.

3. Be bold

Confidence is the number one thing I work with people on. Even those who seem so sure of themselves in public have times of doubt. That’s healthy and part of who we are and how we process things; we’re looking for threats that impact on our safety and security. But most of the things we fear aren’t real. We are wonderfully resilient creatures, and it is only through putting ourselves in new situations that we learn and grow and find out that what we feared wasn’t as bad as we imagined. Public speaking, for example, can be an exhilarating experience.

4. Be positive

Goals that work are positive and things that you want rather than don’t want. For example, you may wish to leave your job, but your goal will be focused on identifying and attaining a job that you actually really enjoy. Elevate your mood, shift how you’re feeling and what you‘re thinking so that it‘s all moving you toward your goal in a positive way. The research shows that when you relax, keep positive, and do the things that make you happy, good health will follow.

5. Write it down

There’s something in the action of turning what’s in our head into words on paper. Whether it be writing your goals in a visible place where you can see them everyday, or journalling every day to keep your thoughts and feelings in flow; just write it down. Make it positive, share it with someone who you trust and make it yours.

6. Create a structure to stay on track

Look at where you give up and put something there to keep you on track (a reward, a buddy, a coach, an “appointment“ with yourself, etc). It’s no coincidence that, as life coaches, we coach weekly or fortnightly. Everyone has a certain cycle of change, and your goals may need that regular tweak to make them challenging again.

7. Feel your end goal

If you’re going to the gym with gusto for the first week or two and then start making excuses, it’s time to reconnect with what you’re doing this all for and make that emotional attachment to the end goal. Connect with the feeling of what it’s like playing footy with your kids and not getting puffed, or climbing those stairs without needing a break.

8. Look outside and inside

Use this time of year to re-connect with friends and re-discover passions and things you love that you’ve put aside while you’ve been busy with everyday living.

9. Don’t just do something, lie there

Achieving goals isn’t just about doing more, doing it quicker and doing it by yesterday. If your 2010 diary is already micromanaged in five-minute intervals, you may want to consider putting your batteries on recharge rather than burnout. Read a book, meditate, spend a day lying on the grass watching clouds. If you find it hard to figure out how to slow down, ask yourself WWYCD (What Would Your Cat Do)?

10. Celebrate what you do have

Use the time to acknowledge all the good stuff you already have in your life. If you have a roof over your head, food on the table and are working then you’re already doing better than 95% of the world’s population (!).

It’s your life. Live it.

Do you need Resolutions or (R)evolution?

Get support for your 2010 goals with the new Work/Life Design Program. You can find out more about creating a life and work you love at www.worklifedesign.com.au

Related posts:

1. A new year. Hopes. Dreams. Possibilities.
2. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session: Part 4. Applications for Coaching Practice
3. How people change: Working with the stages and processes of change

Research really only matters when we can learn something useful from it – and apply it to our lives. In this case, we’ve learned a little more about what works in those initial stages of coaching – whether it be in a comp session or a screening call. But how do we integrate it? How do we apply this knowledge to creating more effective coaching? Here’s what I’ve learned from research and practice:

First Coaching Sessions: Conclusions

1. Hard sell doesn’t work  Even the current sales literature is clear – selling is all about the quality of relationship, not manipulating the client into buying. And, given the nature of coaching, it’s not the role of the coach to manipulate a client.

2. Repeat the mantra: The less directive, the more effective.  While the research suggests that it isn’t selling per se that is undermining the effectiveness of the first session, it does indicate that directiveness plays a major role. As we’ve learned from other helping literature, when you ask rather than tell, the client owns the ideas, understands the rationale and is more motivated to follow through.

3. Directiveness isn’t always bad  It may kill me to say this, but sometimes directiveness is useful. It could be in clarifying tasks or building the alliance that provides a structure for the client to work effectively. Directiveness becomes detrimental when it limits the client’s choices.

4. The coach-client match is a myth  There is no evidence to support the need for coach-client match. Many short-course trained coaches don’t get taught enough about building rapport. The coach-client match won’t mask this lack of skills. Instead, coaches can be proactive about developing a strong working alliance with clear goals, tasks, and expectations and bond-forming activities.

5. Build a working alliance in your initial conversations  The first contact between coach and client is about gathering the information to determine whether they can work together. As such, important questions are:

1. Is the client’s issue suitable for coaching? (goal, tasks);
2. Is the client at a stage of change where coaching is a suitable intervention? (Or how could coaching be a suitable intervention for the client?) (goal, tasks);
3. What does the coach need to know to understand and convey that understanding of the client’s situation to the client, so a bond can develop? (goal, task, bond);
4. How does the client know the coach is competent and can help in their situation? (bond, tasks).

(This is derived from the working alliance literature and the “screening interview” developed by Williams and Menendez 2007)

6. Be aware of client expectations   Whether it is the assumptions clients bring about what coaching is or how it works (“you’re going to fix my problems”) or the more culturally imbued assumptions of gender role expectations (“women are nurturing”), an awareness of the different and often unspoken expectations will minimise disappointment (of unmet expectations) further down the track. It will also give you an entry point for some important conversations about cultural and social influence on communication and behaviour.

7. Acknowledge the tension  Clients come to coaching with a certain amount of tension – fears, uncertainty – which can be used a valuable source of insight by both coach and client.

8. Be transparent in your process  The complimentary session is a sales technique; either present it as such so the clients know what to expect, or use processes that are congruent with the principles of coaching.

What did I really learn from all this?

In the end, it’s all about the beginnings. Get them right and you’ll have fewer headaches further down the track. Of course, as we move along we come across new information that may make our original beginnings naïve, inappropriate, or obsolete. It’s in these moments that we have the opportunity to begin again.  And so, coaching becomes a series of beginnings. Navigating these is what it’s all about.

Related posts:

1. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 3: The Research Study
2. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 1: Feel the Pain
3. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 2: The Selling of Coaching

Lately, I’ve been exploring Needs – those essentials in life. I’ve been wondering what are the simplest building blocks of a good life and how can that be applied to business so that we aren’t continually producing waste (products, time, energy, etc). As I delved into the world of Needs, it became apparent that it wasn’t just about minimising waste. Creating essential products and services can mean your business survives (and perhaps thrives) in uncertain times. Here’s my recently published article from Flying Solo that explains it more…

When cashflow gets tight, a natural response is to start eliminating those expenses that aren’t ‘essential’. How do you meet your clients’ needs and ensure that you don’t get crossed off their essentials list?

Recently I wrote about how understanding your needs as a soloist can help improve not only your enjoyment of your work and wellbeing, but also your performance. To ensure you’re not crossed off your client’s list of essential services, you need to be sure you’re meeting your clients’ needs.

This begs the question: what do people really need?

In my last article, I looked at our needs as soloists and found that in addition to our basic physiological needs we have the ABC of psychological needs of autonomy, belongingness and competence.

Most businesses meet some need – sometimes indirectly and sometimes creating more needs in the process. You can trade on your client’s fears and get them to continue buying your product because it gives them a temporary feeling of security or feeling good. For me, making clients buy five products to meet a need or setting up client dependency is akin to selling junk or creating waste – it is not only unethical but not sustainable.

The idea of creating services or products that help your clients to the extent that they no longer need you may seem to conflict with the purpose of business. Aren’t we here to maximise profit? Well, no, not all of us.

Most soloists I know and work with have moved beyond this approach. They want their work efforts to be more than the passing of time or making a buck. They are interested in providing great services or products that truly improve their clients’ lives.

A sustainable business for uncertain times addresses clients’ needs as directly as possible and does not create more needs in the process.

How do we create businesses that meet clients’ needs?

Your business may already address a basic physiological need. For example, you may produce the snuggliest winter coats this side of Antarctica and thus be meeting people’s need for warmth. Or, you could be addressing the need for shelter by providing access to home loans or rental properties. As a bookkeeper you are addressing your clients’ need for security and sleep – knowing that their BAS will be in on time!

When I look at the businesses on my outgoings list that I consider ‘essentials’, it consists of businesses that not only meet some of my basic physiological needs but also my psychological needs. They give me choices, make me feel that I belong, and help me grow.

What can you do to better meet your clients’ needs?

1. See your clients as whole people

Your clients have a complex range of needs and are not just consumers who can be manipulated into buying an unending array of products.

2. Meet your clients’ need for Autonomy

How can your product or service increase your client’s autonomy? Do you give them choices? Do they have more choice in life after using your product? Does your product help them feel the “master of their domain”?

3. Meet your clients’ need for Belonging

Does your product help your clients connect with others and feel that they belong? Does it make them feel part of humanity or does it make them disengage with people and with life? Do you treat your clients with respect or speak about them disparagingly behind their backs?

4. Meet your clients’ need for Competence

Does your product allow your clients to learn new things and grow? Do you acknowledge your clients existing competence and give them ways to enhance it?

Finally, and most importantly:

5. Ask your clients what they need

Delve deeper should they answer “more money”: what does more money gives them? Choices? Security? Food on the table?

The opportunity awaits you to find creative, sustainable ways to meet your own and your clients’ needs – and not get crossed off that list.

This article was first published in the online community for solo business owners, Flying Solo.

Related posts:

1. Understanding your needs as a solo business owner
2. Dealing with Non-paying Clients
3. Seven ways to create a sustainable business

To succeed in your solo business, you have to understand your physiological and psychological needs. So how do you identify these needs and get your business to satisfy them?

Broadly speaking, needs can be divided into two categories: physiological and psychological.

Basic, physiological needs

These needs are the essential, innate and universal requirements for our well-being and health. We all have physiological needs that have to be satisfied for our bodies to function and stay in good health. These include air, water, food, warmth, shelter, sleep/rest, and safety from harm.

As soloists, we work to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table and that extra warm coat for when we have to venture out of our snugly home offices in winter. But on closer examination, some of the things we might refer to as needs turn out to be something different. Often, we confuse our Wants and Needs.

While our Wants are certainly helpful in providing a window to our actual Needs, they can also thwart or compete against other Needs. For example we may feel we need the waterfront home in the best suburb, but a high mortgage may undermine our ability to satisfy our food, sleep or safety needs. Alternately, the waterfront home might be temporarily satisfying or thwarting another type of need – our psychological needs.

Satisfying your psychological needs

In addition to our physiological needs, we have psychological needs. You may have come across these through Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow believed that it wasn’t just physical and safety needs that had to be satisfied. People also needed to feel that they belonged to a group and were loved, respected, and were able to self-actualise (live their potential).

Maslow’s theory provided the spark for us to begin understanding how human needs influence behaviour. Today, our understanding of psychological needs centres on how our behaviour is self-determined and presents an ABC of psychological needs:

Autonomy

Autonomy must be close to the heart of all soloists. It doesn’t mean we all want to be islands in the sea of humanity, rather that we need to have choices and be free to act as we choose. And think about it, how many of us chose the solo business path because it gives us the opportunity to be our own boss? There are plenty of opportunities to revel in our autonomy as soloists – from designing and delivering our own product or service, to poring over options for that new computer purchase.

Belonging

We need to feel that we belong to a group, whether it’s our family, friends, or work colleagues. We need to feel we are able to connect with others. And as soloists, this is a need we often meet head on in the early days of our ventures. Consequently, we participate in forums and join business or professional groups. Also, part of the belonging (or relatedness) need is love – to be loved and to love others. And while business and love aren’t usually two words that appear together very often, love can flow in our solo ventures. It might be the love you have for your work, showing you care for a client, or your client showing their appreciation of your work.

Competence

We need to feel that we are capable of getting the outcomes we desire. Many soloists start their businesses in fields that they’ve been working in for years, and so have developed a certain level of competence already. But going solo means facing new challenges and in doing so, developing further competence. It can also be the case that soloists are embarking on a new field and have to develop their skills and knowledge as their business grows. When the task is too challenging and the competence need is not being satisfied it can lead to stress, overwhelm and doubt, and thwart other needs.

Understanding your own physiological and psychological needs and creating the environments to satisfy them will not only give you more satisfaction, performance and well-being, but it can also give your business an edge when used to understand your customers’ needs.

This article first appeared in the online community for solo business owners www.flyingsolo.com.au

Related posts:

1. Meeting your clients’ needs
2. Seven ways to create a sustainable business
3. Career Change: Designing my new brilliant career

In the first two parts of this Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session series, I introduced the possibility that the complimentary coaching session, as commonly offered by coaches, was not the client enrolment panacea that it was touted to be. I had a theory that the sales focus of the session was undermining its usefulness as a helping technique. So I went looking for evidence to support my theory…

What the study was about

I thought the use of a very directive sales process was incongruent with the helping processes that coaching is based on. Specifically, I thought it could be undermining the trust needed to build a solid working relationship (something that’s been linked with effectiveness in the counselling literature). I also wondered if it was undermining not only the effectiveness of coaching, but also its credibility. Surely, leaving a coaching session feeling that you have been pressured or hustled would not make you want to go out and rave about coaching.

So I designed a questionnaire that looked at this. The 164 participants in my study were asked to read eight vignettes (or scenarios) which described them going to a first, complimentary session with a coach. These scenarios varied, depending on whether the coach used sales strategies or helping strategies, and whether the coach used a low or high level of directiveness. The participants were asked questions about effectiveness, relationship building, and whether their expectations were met for each vignette. I also varied the gender of the coach to see if there were any differences in the perception of male and female coaches. Also, I wanted to find out if partipicants who were coaches had different perceptions from those who weren’t coaches, so my sample included participants with a range of experience with coaching.

What the study found

In a word, lots. But not necessarily what I expected.

For example, the most significant factor contributing to effectiveness, a strong working relationship and expectations being met was not, as I had guessed, whether the strategy was sales or helping. It was directiveness; low directiveness was rated higher in these three categories.

Also, gender role expectations of the coaches surfaced in surprising ways. Female coaches were rated as more effective when using a helping strategy with a low level of directiveness. But this strategy also scored highest on a composite variable that emerged that I called Negative Feelings. So female coaches were most effective when they were being supportive and non-directive, but it certainly made people feel uncomfortable. I also collected qualitative responses for each of the strategies (ie comments from participants). They suggested that, when a female coach was non-directive, it was interpreted as “she just didn’t care enough” to continue. This was very interesting considering that this wasn’t an issue for male coaches.

A summary of results is as follows:

Effectiveness of first-session coaching strategy

It wasn’t the selling process per se which reduced effectiveness ,but the coach using a high level of directiveness. The less directive the session, the more effective it’s rated. The low directive helping strategy worked better for female coaches, as did the low directive selling strategy for male coaches.

Individual preferences were still important to participants, though. Some said they would want time to think about whether they continued with the coach, and some wanted the pressure of being put on the spot. Others wanted a followup phone call to show that the coach cared. Also, some liked a loosely structured session, while others preferred the very structured approach of the sales process.

How well did the strategies meet expectations?

The low directive strategies matched expectations more. Male coaches matched expectations for non-coach participants, whereas coach participants rated opposite.

How well did the strategies build a strong working relationship?

The low directive selling strategy built the strongest relationship between the coach an client, and the low directive helping strategy received the lowest relationship rating. Coach clients rated female coaches higher for building working relationship when they used a directive helping strategy. Participants suggested that there needed to be more rapport and relationship building in the first session.

There are positives to the selling approach. When it’s used without high pressure techniques, the transparency, clear goals and tasks actually help build the coach-client relationship. What puts clients off is not asking for the sale but using aggressively manipulative tactics to overcome objections.

Studies on directiveness in the counselling/therapy literature suggest that it’s not directiveness itself that may negatively impact on the relationship, but mediating variables of context and client attributes (such as the severity of problem and trait resistance). So a low alliance can be balanced by perceived support.

What role did Negative Feelings play?

There was a very high rating of negative feelings for the female coach using the low directive helping strategy – especially from the coach participants – which was interpreted by some participants as the coach “not caring enough”. This contrasted with the high negative feelings produced by the hard sell strategy which participant responses indicate were to do with feeling pressured.

This suggests that tension can exist and yet not have a negative impact on effectiveness or relationship. If looked at in terms of the needs-satisfaction theories of sales literature, the tension resulting from client needs not being met may not be an issue in the low directive approaches, as clients feel they still have choices.

Whereas with the hard sell strategy, the timing of the confronting question was off – it was too soon with so little relationship building.

Person-centred literature suggests that the congruence and authenticity of the coach and a collaborative approach are more influential than negative feelings. This makes sense when considering that negative feelings may be an integral part of coaching about change and challenge.

Difference in perceptions between coaches and non-coach participants

Non-coach participants rated low directive strategies as more effective and, when it came to feedback, stuck to saying how they wanted to be treated.

In contrast, coaches who participated in the study still had their coach hats on, giving plenty of feedback on process and rapport. As the vignettes asked participants to put themselves in the role of client, these results raise the question of whether these perceptions are contributing to the complimentary session conundrum. Are coaches really starting where the client is at?

Emergence of gender role expectations for coaches

The gender of the coach in the scenarios was found to be highly influential. Even though coaches rated the non-directive helping strategy (the one participants thought wasn’t caring enough) low on relationship and high on negative feelings, they still thought it was the most effective approach for female coaches. They rated the low directive selling strategy as most effective for male coaches.

Coach gender differences were more pronounced for non-coach participants. Non-coach participants rated male coaches as meeting their expectation more, and as building stronger relationships.

Counselling literature suggests that there is a preference for male counsellors to be authoritative and female counsellors to be nurturing. So it seems that gender role stereotypes are also alive and well in the coaching industry.

Where to from here?

Coaching claims to meet client needs, build good relationship and be financially viable. Accepted coach training school wisdom says the complimentary session is the best way to achieve these aims. As my study has shown, though, coaches and their potential clients often interpret the same process in radically different – and sometimes surprising – ways. Coaches and coach training schools needs to rethink the purpose, structure, and desirability of the complimentary coaching session.

Yeah, but what does this mean for coaching?

In the fourth and final part of this series, I combine these results with psych theory and coaching practice to provide some recommendations for how to run effective first coaching sessions.

Part 4: Applications for Coaching Practice

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Related posts:

1. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session: Part 4. Applications for Coaching Practice
2. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 2: The Selling of Coaching
3. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 1: Feel the Pain

Uplifting Tunes for your Weekend

I must have first heard this tune when I was having a really bad day, as I recall my initial thoughts of it being “bloody useless hippy crap”. 

However, my bad day passed and after hearing this 2008 dance anthem a few more times, I really really warmed to it. Warmed to the point where the harmonies of “What a wonderful world it would be” often get stuck in my head on a continual loop.

What I love about the song now, and I think what I reacted to on the first listening, is the spoken word bit where Ron Carroll lists what a wonderful world would look like – people are smiling, having a good time, loving one another, sharing, there is only peace, love, joy.

I know it’s over the top but if you’re familiar with the concept of redressing, then you’ll know that you often need to swing things all the way over to the polar opposite before they will balance in the middle again. So, in living a modern western life, we see and hear so much negative stuff in the world that we need a litany of wonderful to get some balance back. 

Interestingly, while I first heard of redressing through politics and philosophy, it seems to be being borne out in the research in the field of positive psychology. They have found that to flourish in a relationship, work or life, you need about three positive encounters for each negative encounter (Losada). Some even say you need at least five positive encounters for each negative (Gottman). 

So while many may scoff at the idealistic lyrics of this tune, they actually serve a purpose, and if we allowed ourselves more positive encounters then our lives would be richer for it.

But back to the music… I mainly love this tune because it is a love generation, trance anthem that can getting you tapping into the warm fuzzies without attending a weekend workshop or scoffing a handful of ecstasy. 

Am off to twirl with abandon now…

Related posts:

1. Joy Retro Disco presents H.A.P.P.Y. Radio by Edwin Starr
2. Joy Retro Disco presents I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash
3. Joy Retro Disco presents What You Waiting For by Gwen Stefani

I wrote this little rant last week but didn’t get time to post before I chuffed off to the beach. Seeing as it was International No-Diet Day yesterday, I thought I’d belatedly celebrate by sharing my take on a part of weight-loss culture that continues to suck me in.

I stayed up way past my bedtime earlier this week to watch the finale of the Biggest Loser (BL). It was not only the end of the series but in our household, the end of Caro harrumphing out of the room every time the whiney, Shannon Noll theme song came on, and for me, the end doing something I knew wasn’t good for me (watching the show), but doing it anyway.

Am I the biggest loser for watching?

I have BL-watcher shame. I don’t think it’s the parade of newly manorexic heroes who are the biggest losers. It’s me, the sucker who keeps watching this dross when I know that it puts bad ideas in my head. Bad and evil ideas like:

·      Weight loss is no more complex than calories in, energy out

·      You’re not normal unless you have a BMI under 20.

·      You’re not normal unless you know what a BMI is.

·      Everyday people can lose 50 kg in 12 weeks.

·      Losing weight is a noble act.

And my favourite, courtesy of trainer Michelle,

·      The only thing stopping you losing weight is excuses.

But, I continued to watch, despite knowing that it’s not good for me. Ah, sweet ambivalence, I know you well.

Just this once.  It makes me feel good.

There’s no denying the drama, or should I say, the “journey” of the BL makes me feel good. I can’t help but feel joy for the characters when they see themselves as competent, lovable human beings.

But I know that in all probability that feeling, and the taut, buff bodies will disappear. After the excitement of squeezing into that “never thought possible” size 12 evening dress has passed, the BL contestants face the hard slog of maintaining this new lifestyle. And if they haven’t sorted out all their emotional shit, then they face years of beating themselves up for “letting themselves down” and regaining weight.

Three contestants from a previous Australian BL series were recently featured on a current affairs shows bemoaning the fact that they received no support from the show after it was finished. Huh? So you signed up for a tv show where, at the very least, you learned the basics of healthy eating and became acquainted with the foreign concept of exercise, and you want them to hold your hand when you go home? Did you learn anything?

Ah, but they did learn exactly what the show sets out to teach. You cannot live a healthy life on your own. We may say all the cliched yet catchy slogans of empowerment, but we all know, you need us. We will give you all these extrinsic motivators – money, fame, a hot bod, endorsements, trainers whippin’ your ass into gear everyday – and you will give us jaw-dropping transformations and magical ratings. 

Even some of the biggest losers from the US series, who had that mad “I love to train five hours a day” look in their eyes at the finale, have gone all confessional on Oprah and admitted that they could not maintain the lifestyle they learned on the BL.

Sustainable change comes from within

In the end, whether it’s weight, alcohol, shopping or any of the other flavours of excessive consumption, the motivation to change has to come from within. To be sustainable, it has to be intrinsic. You have to look at a bowl of radicchio and actually want to eat it; either because you love it, or because you know it’s what gives you a healthy life.

Of course, we can’t expect everyone to instantly love all the healthful activities and say “meh” to the barrel of cookies. But there are other ways of doing this than externally-delivered pain. You can begin by finding out what healthy activities people enjoy naturally. Sure, you can use extrinsic rewards initially (such as trainers, treats, hot body) to produce the positive feelings but those feelings need to be used to integrate the activities into an individual’s value system.  Weight needs to be approached as a health issue rather than a vanity issue, and addressed it in a long-term and sustainable manner.

And it is possible. The research is in.

Researchers from the University of Leuven in Belgium, Maarten Vansteenkiste and colleagues, looked at how different fitness goals impacted on a person’s motivation, performance and persistence. Three groups were given different health and fitness goals, and they measured over-time the impact on how much effort was expended, autonomous exercise motivation, performance, and long-term persistence. They found that the group that focused on a future intrinsic goal of health and fitness had a positive effect on all four factors. On the other hand, focusing on a future extrinsic goal – such as physical appearance and attractiveness – undermined the effectiveness of their progress, even more than the group who had no goals set.

Other research from the field of self-determination theory has found that when extrinsic rewards (such as money) are introduced for an activity that is intrinsically interesting, the perceived locus of causality shifts from internal to external. As a result, people attribute their results to outside sources and display less intrinsic motivation (Deci, Koestner and Ryan, 1999).

No more losers. But, plenty of life.

“Yeah but,” I hear you say, “that’s what they do on the BL. They get them lovin’ themselves and training and eating right and enjoying it.” Sure, I do have hope for some of the contestants on the BL. Those who, despite having the “prize money” or “what you’ll wear” dangled in front of them from beginning to end, begin saying that they are no longer motivated by the money. But few get that far, and they are the exception rather than the rule. (And it is hard to say whether they are truly intrinsically motivated while they remain in competition for the prize money or are attending their “last chance training”.)

I was quite heartened when one of the contestants in this series, against the advice of her peers, sent one of the money-grubbing competitors packing. It was such a internally-motivated decision and it gave me hope that while the focus may be on losing (weight), a few contestants would come away having gained the self-confidence to continue making positive choices in their lives.

While I may have started writing this piece in an effort to take the piss out of myself for watching this show, I realise that I’m only a loser if I take the messages of BL onboard. 

As was made clear in the 2007 PBS documentary “Fat: What they’re not telling you”, we really don’t have any definitive answers on weight loss. There are just too many variables to pin it down to energy in and energy out.

But, we do know a lot about health, physical fitness and motivation, and I have to say there is nothing quite like the feeling of being in good health and fit. And there are so many enjoyable, healthy activities – from a slow lunch with friends savouring the local, organic produce to climbing a mountain “just to see if I can” – that we don’t need the trainer yelling at us to “push through the pain” and “go hard”. I’d like to see popular culture, be it TV, magazines, or the web, exploring effortless health. 

It’s time to get off the treadmill and start living.

POST SCRIPT: It’s funny how things work out. I wrote this post last week when I was feeling very “Argh” frustrated by my attitude to exercise. It had not been effortless, even though I do enjoy it. In between writing this and posting it, I’ve spent three days at the beach where it was extremely easy to be active. Long walks! Swimming! It was wonderful to feel alive, reconnect with my body, and get that feel-good spark back. 

No related posts.

In Part 1 of this series on Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session, I wrote about being introduced to the Comp Session as part of my coach training and how, at that early stage, something just didn’t sit right for me. I felt uneasy about using techniques that increase a client’s pain to tip them over a threshold into action. I thought coaching was a positive approach to change.

What I didn’t know in those early days was that the Comp Session was just a rejigged sales process, and letting clients “feel the pain” is a common old school sales technique. (I say “old school” because contemporary theories of selling are based on relationships and needs rather than manipulation.)

To understand how a Comp Session is a Sales Session in disguise, we need to look at the processes of each.

The Sales Process

While many techniques and methods are used in the selling activity, a five-step sales process underlies them all:

1) Prospecting for clients,

2) Qualifying clients,

3) Presentation of the product or service,

4) Overcoming objections, and

5) Closing the sale

(Pederson, Wright and Weitz, 1988).

Over the last 20 years, the selling process has evolved to focus on more consultative approaches and satisfying customer needs (Weitz, Castleberry and Tanner, 2001): the “soft sell” approach. The intention of this “partnership process” of selling is now concerned with “responding to objections” rather than overcoming objections, and “obtaining commitment” rather than closing the sale. There is also greater emphasis on building long-term partnerships after the sale.

There are hundreds of different methods for the salesperson to obtain commitment from a buyer. According to Weitz et al., no method should persuade a buyer to do what they do not want to do or buy something they do not need.

Commitment to buy can also take place outside of the salesperson’s actions by influence rather than directly obtaining commitment. Cialdini (1993) identified reciprocation as one of the most powerful and prevalent influence processes. The principle of reciprocation asserts that people are more likely to comply with requests from those who have already provided them with something.

So, even before the client meets the coach, the offer of a complimentary coaching session engages the potential client in a sales process. And the rest of the ‘sale’ is completed in the Comp Session.

The Complimentary Coaching Session Process

To understand the Comp Coaching Session process, let’s look at one used by one of the major international coach training organisations, CoachU / CoachInc.  It goes like this:

·       Welcome the prospect to the session

·       Briefly outline how the session will work

·       Listen as prospect shares the answer to the question you emailed him or her

·       State back to the prospect what you heard, making a point to identify his or her strengths

·       Allow the prospect to respond

·       Remember to listen for blocks and passions

·       Assign action steps for prospects to take immediately

·       Allow prospect to accept and end coaching part of session

·       Ask prospect what experience was like for him or her

·       Ask if the prospect sees how coaching could benefit him or her

·       Invite him or her to become your coachee

·       Allow him or her to answer; field questions and handle objections

(CoachU, 2005, p. 367)

It all sounds pretty good. The “prospect” (a sales term) is listened to and walked through a process that builds commitment to action. The close is a little awkward, but at least it’s presented as an invitation. It’s all fine until you get to the final phrase, “handle objections”, which gives away what this session is really about: getting the client to buy coaching.

How the Comp Session is a dressed-up Sales Call

If we look at the Comp Session in the context of the five stage sales process, we can see that inserting “Coaching” into stage three (presentation) gives you the process for client enrolment using the Complimentary Coaching Session. Stages one and two are taken care of by the coach’s marketing (find prospects and qualify - although the qualify stage can also be part of the comp session). Then, the Comp Session fulfils stages three, four and five with its coaching presentation, commitment/close and overcoming/responding to objections.

A Comp Session that follows this process can be on a continuum of soft sell (focusing on relationship and commitment) to hard sell (close the sale by any means). It is the recommendations for those final two steps of Closing the Sale and Overcoming Objections that take the Comp Session into “hard sell” territory.

The actual sales techniques used in the Comp Session depend on the potential client and what objections they may raise when the coach ‘closes the sale’ by asking them to be their client (or continue working together). The CoachU training manual presents three pages of potential objections (from “What are your qualifications?” to “I can’t afford it”) as part of the “Close the Sale” step.

The manual further advises the trainee coach that “objections are ‘buying’ signals. The prospective coachee is telling you ‘Yes but…’” (p. 367). CoachU (2005) also recommends that for self-employed coaches (which Grant and Zackon’s 2004 survey of coaches found was 73.7% of their sample) the complimentary coaching session is “one of the most important aspects of selling coaching. You want to allow the prospect to feel special.” (p. 365).

The manual rationalises the comp session as a way to evaluate whether there is a coach-client “match”, but doesn’t actually provide the criteria for assessing this “match”.  Instead, the coach is given two alternatives: the “puppy dog close” (i.e. “take the puppy dog home for the weekend…”) of the complimentary session, or the “assumptive close”, which continues the conversation on the assumption that the coachee has assented to continue.

CoachU anticipates the objections of its trainees with its own ‘Close the Sale’ conclusion:  “Although the idea of selling your services and closing a sale might seem removed from coaching, it is the only way to bring coachees into your practice.” (CoachU, 2005, p. 366)

CoachU’s training is not the only (nor the most overtly sales-focused) example of recommended complimentary session processes and strategies. I use this example because their training manual is a published document and easily verifiable.

Not all coaches advocate the use of the complimentary session, and not all coaches who do recommend the session advocate the use of the more persuasive sales strategies.

Writing about “how to give great sample sessions” in The Coaching Insider in 2006, Dianne Legro advises the coach to support the coachee’s decision to not continue and to “let go of the sale”. However, she also recommends that the coach needs to remind the coachee “the cost now of not living the life the client wants”. If a coach chooses to use stronger sales techniques, he or she is reminded to be “mindful that you don’t overly manipulate”.

Is a sales approach detrimental to coaching?

But when is the manipulation line crossed? When is the coach putting his/her interests (to get the sale) ahead of their clients (seeking a workable solution)? Does the client feel manipulated or pressured to sign up for coaching? And what effect does this having on the outcome?

If one of the first tasks of a coach is to build rapport and trust with their client, then would the sales-focus undermine this?  Also, if coaching is a client-centred, helping process then would using a coach-centred, sales process undermine this?

This is the tension I wanted to explore in my research: to pull apart what’s happening in the Comp Session. I wanted to find out if it really is effective or whether it creates a tension that is detrimental not only to the client and the coach, but perhaps the whole coaching industry.          

In Part 3 of Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session, I look at the research that addressed this question.

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Titles Referenced in this Post:

Cialdini, R. (1993) Influence: Science and practice. 3rd edition. New York: Harper Collins.

Coach U (2005) The Coach U Personal and Corporate Coach Training Handbook. New York: John Wiley & Sons.

Grant, A. & Zackon, R. (2004) Executive, workplace and life coaching: Findings from a large-scale survey of International Coach Federation members. International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring. 2 (2): 1-15.

Pederson, C., Wright, M., and Weitz, B. (1988) Selling: Principles and Methods. 9^th edition. Homewood, Il: Richard D. Irwin.

Weitz, B., Castleberry, S. and Tanner, J. (2001) Selling: Building Partnerships. 4^th edition. New York: McGraw-Hill/Irwin.

Related posts:

1. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 1: Feel the Pain
2. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session: Part 4. Applications for Coaching Practice
3. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 3: The Research Study

I recently completed my Masters’ dissertation which involved researching a process used in coaching called the Complimentary Coaching Session (often referred to as a Comp Session). 

Yes, like its name suggests, the Comp Session is a free (no-charge) coaching session.  Within the coaching industry, it is common practice to offer this free first session to potential clients so they can get an “experience of coaching” before deciding whether they want to sign up for a program.

I’ve had a problem with the Comp Session ever since I first came in contact with it early in my coach training. I was in a class called “From Free to Fee”, which was all about how to get clients, or more specifically how to convert a person who was happy to be coached once for free into someone itching to sign up to a 12-week program. We were introduced to the Complimentary Coaching Session and all the reasons for using it to transition clients into our business. These included the “experience of coaching” already mentioned, as well as seeing if there was a coach-client match so you could work well together. It was framed as all about giving the client the information to make an informed choice. It was the early days of coaching and few people knew what coaching was and how it could help, so it made sense to educate and inform by doing.

Being very green to coaching and eager to get some of these elusive clients for myself, I was all ears. The instructor gave examples of how to ask questions that result in the client saying “Yes, sign me up!” It was all very positive – if a little directive - but if the client wanted to change and the coach had the vehicle for change, then everyone’s needs are met and we’re all happy. But then one of my classmates asked, “Yeah, but what if you get the client to visualise a positive future and they still don’t want to sign up?”  And here is where it all changed for me. The instructor responded by introducing us to the “Kiss. Tell. Hurt.” approach, the first of many ill-advised torture devices of coaching that I’ve come across over the years.

According to the instructor, if the client didn’t see the benefit of coaching through the “positive futures” approach, then you had to bring them in touch with their pain: “What’s your life going to be like in 20 years if you continue doing what you’re doing now?” Ouch. I had visions of clients seeing themselves drunken, dishevelled, friendless and slumped in a gutter. Hmm, tough choice: homeless or sign up for coaching?

In the class, using the “pain” technique was presented as an acceptable way to convert clients because you were ultimately looking out for their best interests. This seems to assume that the coach knows best, and it’s the coach’s role to get the client to comply. But everything I’d ever read, heard or learned about coaching said otherwise. It’s one of the fundamentals of coaching that the client is the expert in their own lives. Surely, no means no?

Well, not necessarily in the Comp Session.

Part 2 of the Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session series looks at how the Comp Session disguises a sales technique as a coaching session.

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Related posts:

1. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session: Part 4. Applications for Coaching Practice
2. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 2: The Selling of Coaching
3. Rethinking the Complimentary Coaching Session. Part 3: The Research Study